It’s treated like its shameful or something…
So my Paternal Grandmother died like 1 or 2 years ago… and I didn’t feel like going to the funeral… cuz I’m already dealing with so much shit as it is…
So they came back and told me they told everyone that I was “studying in college and had an important class I cannot miss” never mentioned the depression… I already withdrew from college at that point…
Like… Its depression… not like schizophrenia
What the fuck is this shame?
I didn’t even process that fact till like now…
Just remembered they said that “we didn’t let any one know because once they know they’ll forever treat you differently”
Well fuck that… this is America… people have literally published memoirs about their experience in a psychiatric hospital… and people make youtube videos about it…
Sorry for yet another rant… this depression is killing me
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If they casually lie about this, imagine what else they have lied to you about over the years. There’s a reason one member of the family ends up with the mental illness. If you’re the honest one, you’re viewed as a liability and they lie to you constantly out of fear you’ll leak secrets outside the family system. Use it all as motivation to get away.
I mean… I watched an episode of a Taiwan TV show (你的孩子不是你的孩子) and one episode’s plot (fictional story to be clear) is about a suicide, so the daughter jumps off the balcony to commit suicide
Then it cuts to the scene of the funeral… the mom said it was an ACCIDENT. “OMG IDK WHAT HAPPENED, SHE JUST SUDDENLY ACCIDENTALLY SLIP AND FELL”
Bruh 💀 (there were literally camera in the apartment recording the whole thing)
Probably explains why Mainland China has an authoritarian government…
Edit: Also the problem with this “Use it all as motivation to get away.”… kinda doesn’t fix the problem of THIS ENTIRE CULTURE of “SAVING FACE” is like that…
I’d have to runaway from every 1st gen immigrant of my ethnicity… is that even practical?
I don’t even have the money to seek professional help if I “run away”
My escape plan is just kms honestly
Honor culture is even worse, since you are in the US you could apply for medicaid, that is how I am able to get therapy.
That’s a pretty pessimistic way of looking at things… Maybe the family assumed OP had told them that in confidence, and as such, didn’t want to tell anyone else. I mean, I have difficulties with depression, and I’m fairly open about it, but if I had a similar situation, I wouldn’t be angry at my family about that in the slightest. I’d rather them being a little too careful about what they tell other people than say too much.
You’ve been heard. My family wouldn’t have allowed me to skip the funeral and if I stood my ground, my parents would be furious with me for weeks/months afterwards. They’d also make an excuse to the family.
Like… Its depression… not like schizophrenia
Tbh, even if it’s schizophrenia, is there a difference? I’d argue no
What have you tried so far to treat your depression
Because the more “serious” types like schizophrenia have the reputation/stereotype of being “violent”, especially in Chinese culture where mental health is even less understood.
Fair enough
I’d caution anyone with ranking some conditions above others on different scales like violence but yeah I understand when you say it’s a cultural view
Most cultures are ashamed of things they don’t understand and most lost their connection to shamanism over the millennia. If one thinks of spiritual ailments as mental health ailments, shamans mainly focused on treating such things.
