When texting people in general I find it frustrating that people don’t seem to view it as a conversation. If someone texts me and I catch it and text back right away, I get frustrated when people don’t return the favor. They might text back 5, 10, minutes or an hour or more later. Why did you text me if you didn’t want to have a conversation? Why am I the one sitting here waiting for a response?
It’s like someone sitting down across from at a table and asking you “Hey, how ya doin?” You respond “Great! what’s up?” and they just sit there for 10 minutes not saying anything.
Might be the whisper of ASD in my ADHD contributing to not understanding how this social interaction actually works vs how I think it should work.
Anyone else have this grinding their gears?
E: apparently it’s just me!
Thanks for the replies, everyone.
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I resent people calling me, because I have no choice but to be rude or to be forced in to a conversation that takes all of my attention, but on their schedule
A text is the opposite of that. Treating it as if it were a conversation would make it just as annoying as a phone call
Yeah this is why I don’t get it. If you expect me to respond instantly, you should be placing a phone call and not sending a text.
Thanks. This is exactly how I feel about this.
There’s this person I know who will text you several times asking you to urgently call them back.
When you eventually call back…Them: "So, how about that thing?
Me: “Yes. Something something”
Them: “Ok thanks, see ya” — click
Drives me nuts.
I find it disrespectful and they can’t fathom why.
They’re an otherwise cool person, but this one thing…
You do need to figure out what is the difference between asynchronous and synchronous conversation.
I see texting as a method of asynchronous communication. I tell people, “If you need a fast reply from me, call, don’t text.”
It could be they just wanted to checkin and see how you were, not really looking to have a conversation. I think it really depends on what the opening text was.
My wife and I have a hierarchy:
- If you want a response right away, call
- If you want a response as soon as they’re not busy, text
- If you don’t care when you get a response, email
In addition, we use email when we have longer, more involved things to say, and texts to send a quick “I love you” or whatever.
It’s not just you. I hate texting in general unless it’s for work. Usually if I’m running around on errands or a nice walk, I end up getting a text response to someone from an hour ago, and it boils my nerves that I feel I need to respond.
I’d rather be on a phone call to get all information in/out at once. Especially with wireless headset/earbuds
Though my therapist thinks I’m AuDHD. So that gives credence to your asd worry
when I send a text I immediately forget about it
If I send someone a text, I don’t expect them to read or respond in any given timeframe. I don’t get to just demand their full attention on the spot, and I fully appreciate that they may not be in a position to hear or respond to their phone bleeping at them at any given moment.
EXCEPT
If someone sends me a text, and I respond to it within seconds, then yes, I expect them to treat it like a conversation.
I will never understand these people that hit send then immediately throw their phone out the goddamn window so any response no matter how fast stays on delivered for the next hour.
Wat? I have ADHD and I view texting completely different. It is not like a face to face convo, it’s more akin to email, but less formal. You reply when you have time, unless it is urgent.
