As far as I know, it was one, but considering I caught her sexting him 4 years after I discovered her first affair?
Yeah I’m pretty sure she had multiple. I can’t prove it, but I know she was lying for a long time after I moved back in during COVID. Discovered a message from her to a friend about her boss getting handsy, discovered pics I had not taken. She had bumble installed a month after moving back.
She repeatedly met with guys I didn’t know that were her “friends” from work, who were muscly dudes. She got very angry when I would bring up feeling of jealousy. Looking back at it? The whole relationship was stupid and abusive.
Over share time, but I kind of just need to get it off my chest I guess:
We met at 14, she was hot AF, liked all the good nerd stuff like comics and star wars. Did a lot of fun stuff alone together, but no sex until 17 or so? Anyway, about January after we started dating, she got very upset when I had to cancel plans to see her because my brother was in the hospital. Red Flag. She made me stop chatting and hanging out with a girl on my bus route because jealousy, Red Flag. She was super upset when she found out I had two friends that were girls at a summer theatre camp, Red Flag. She repeatedly asked me to avoid my brother, Red Flag. This was just year one.
I guess eventually my brain said “ah, fuck it, she’s hot and she likes you” while I slowly became dependent on her approval. She wanted to move in with me in college, but she would only do it if we got engaged, and gave her a child by 25. So I said sure, fine. Had to have a full time job, so I declared my major in something that paid well, not that I really cared for. Got a job locally because she couldn’t move away from her mom. Had to have a better paying job for a kid. Bought a house so we could have a kid. But had to buy a bigger car so we could have a kid. Moved around in company. Had kid. She didn’t like the house. She didn’t like the car. She started drinking. The whole time she was in and out of work, never really making decisions. She starts a job she’s really enthusiastic about, her boss is a scumbag, avoiding taxes, questionable accounting. She gets lots of attention from younger, fitter guys - I had gotten large because I was treated for a large variety of mental health conditions that it turns out I didn’t really have (wonder why). We had an amazing summer before that, but then cheated on me that winter.
Feels good to read all that. I skipped a bunch, but dang. That really fucking sucked you know
Much of that sounds all too familiar. It sucks, but it does get better. Have you run across Dr. Ramani on YouTube? She put a lot of what experienced with my ex in context.
I’m really sorry to hear that. It’s even worse when kids get into the mix. I have a friend who was in a similar situation, and now the kid’s horrible mom has disowned him because he’s trans (he’s better without her anyway). I hope you’ve been able to find someone to be happy with since then.
“You annoyed me the other day, so I went out and fucked three guys” is a weird excuse.
As far as I know, it was one, but considering I caught her sexting him 4 years after I discovered her first affair?
Yeah I’m pretty sure she had multiple. I can’t prove it, but I know she was lying for a long time after I moved back in during COVID. Discovered a message from her to a friend about her boss getting handsy, discovered pics I had not taken. She had bumble installed a month after moving back.
She repeatedly met with guys I didn’t know that were her “friends” from work, who were muscly dudes. She got very angry when I would bring up feeling of jealousy. Looking back at it? The whole relationship was stupid and abusive.
Over share time, but I kind of just need to get it off my chest I guess: We met at 14, she was hot AF, liked all the good nerd stuff like comics and star wars. Did a lot of fun stuff alone together, but no sex until 17 or so? Anyway, about January after we started dating, she got very upset when I had to cancel plans to see her because my brother was in the hospital. Red Flag. She made me stop chatting and hanging out with a girl on my bus route because jealousy, Red Flag. She was super upset when she found out I had two friends that were girls at a summer theatre camp, Red Flag. She repeatedly asked me to avoid my brother, Red Flag. This was just year one. I guess eventually my brain said “ah, fuck it, she’s hot and she likes you” while I slowly became dependent on her approval. She wanted to move in with me in college, but she would only do it if we got engaged, and gave her a child by 25. So I said sure, fine. Had to have a full time job, so I declared my major in something that paid well, not that I really cared for. Got a job locally because she couldn’t move away from her mom. Had to have a better paying job for a kid. Bought a house so we could have a kid. But had to buy a bigger car so we could have a kid. Moved around in company. Had kid. She didn’t like the house. She didn’t like the car. She started drinking. The whole time she was in and out of work, never really making decisions. She starts a job she’s really enthusiastic about, her boss is a scumbag, avoiding taxes, questionable accounting. She gets lots of attention from younger, fitter guys - I had gotten large because I was treated for a large variety of mental health conditions that it turns out I didn’t really have (wonder why). We had an amazing summer before that, but then cheated on me that winter.
Feels good to read all that. I skipped a bunch, but dang. That really fucking sucked you know
Much of that sounds all too familiar. It sucks, but it does get better. Have you run across Dr. Ramani on YouTube? She put a lot of what experienced with my ex in context.
Jesus Christ. No. But it’s an eye opener.
I’m really sorry to hear that. It’s even worse when kids get into the mix. I have a friend who was in a similar situation, and now the kid’s horrible mom has disowned him because he’s trans (he’s better without her anyway). I hope you’ve been able to find someone to be happy with since then.
No, but I’m in no rush. The divorce is taking forever, and I have a lot of learning about myself to do.