Have you tried a sensory deprivation tank? Sounds right up your alley.

“Rule of thumb” I quit using this one after learning that it referred to a rule where you could legally beat your wife with a switch no wider than your thumb.

“Getting gyped” Learned this one is about associating gypsies with getting screwed over, so people started saying they got gyped because something bad happened.

Stuff I thought was completely innocuous but turns out has really bad connotations, so I dropped them.

I bought the Tushy. It’s nothing crazy fancy, but works amazingly. It’s one piece that you install between the water line and the tank of the toilet. Very quick install. For new users, I’d suggest keeping the water pressure low (the little knob you turn to activate it) that way you’re not getting water up your butt when you’re not expecting it. It’s a weird sensation at first, but you quickly get used to it. Now I swear by having a bidet.