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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 5th, 2023

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  • “The vibe” is more or less wallowing in the feeling of not being able to get a partner, from a feminine perspective and usually in a cutesy “haha I can’t socialize and my life is a mess” way. This stands in contrast with many/most male incel communities, which tend to promote resentment and blaming a celibate status on everything but oneself (or pathologically blaming it on an immutable characteristic like one’s height or canthal tilt). There is a degree of toxic internalization that can occur either way, but I like to think the humorous nature intended by the posts is a way to vent out the feelings and riff on them with others.

    The transfem nature which carries over from the Blahaj instance dovetails with the community’s theme, since it is rather difficult for most trans women or similar folks to get into relationships, on account of various circumstances relating to transitioning as an AMAB individual. There are the matters of physical appearance which is a facet of the genetic lottery, plus the social aspects of dating while trans. The dating pool for most trans people is, uh, quite a bit smaller, and shrinks further still when looking for medium/long term partners mainly due to stigma associated with dating trans people (especially to cis men being in a relationship with trans women, and especially if one is visibly trans to the general population, think the whole “is it gay” discourse).

    So basically, femcelmemes is about acknowledging these challenges and playfully lamenting the celibate condition they bolster, while also allowing (trans)fems to embrace the girly aesthetic and mode of interaction while doing so. It’s a gender-affirming way to cope with the situation, so provides some utility despite the generally self-deprecating nature of the posts made there. One also doesn’t even have to be celibate (or even trans) to understand and find amusement in this struggle; you can just kind of vibe with the idea of defiantly girlbossing your way through a depressing time of life.

    I hope that helps explain somewhat. I’m maybe not the best spokesperson but I’ve been following the community for a while at this point. If you have any follow up questions I’d be happy to try and provide my best understanding of things.




  • Y’know, that’s fair. I think I misspoke, and meant to say that the admins of your instance can see your IP but not the admins of another (assuming you’re not self hosting on your home PC without a VPN), but I’m not 100% sure that’s true because I’ve never looked at the protocol.

    If every interaction is already public on the backend/API level, then simply not showing the info to users is just a transparency issue.

    The more I’m thinking about this, the more I believe it’s a cultural/expectations thing. On websites like Tumblr, all of your reblogs and likes are public info, but it’s very up front about that. Social media like Facebook, IG, and sites like Discord, it’s the same; you can look through the list of everyone who reacted.








  • I linked it because I recall it having a lot of cogent points and being relevant, and because I don’t remember off the top of my head the specific allegations, I didn’t want to dig through a two hour video I’ve already seen at the exact moment of writing because I only had so much time and research to dedicate to a Lemmy comment. It’s valid to be annoyed by a long video linked as an argument, but my comment was a “too long didn’t watch” version of it… that actually left out some details like the founder also being a fucking eugenicist.

    I also use an adblocker, and the vid has some opinions obviously but was mostly going over evidence, recordings, and related allegations.

    You don’t have to watch it if you don’t want to. I linked it as a secondary source. While primary sources are preferable and it might have been a good idea to do the legwork myself, I wanted something posted quick to maybe make people think twice on the “donate to TST” call to action in the initial comment.