Drinking can be a big part of socializing in the US, but you’ll be able to get by without it. Neighbors don’t come over uninvited here, and it’s unusual to have the type of friendships where people come by unannounced all the time (at least, after college).

I might try a few things:

• If you haven’t already, find a local mosque to attend; that’s a good way to widen your social circle with American Muslims, who may be able to introduce you to more people, broaden it further, etc. It’ll be folks who are more culturally familiar, but many will likely be a bit more integrated already and have a wider group of American friends as well.

• Hobby based clubs are great, but they do tend to be a little transactional – think about hobbies you want to be doing anyway (so you’re not JUST there to meet people).

• If you have the time, I’d be on the lookout for volunteering and community service type activities – it’s a great way to meet good people, more committed than a hobby group, and much less awkward to socialize in than a workplace.

• Depending where you live, try and strike up conversations a bit more openly / frequently, and be willing to mention that you just moved here and don’t know many folks. At the barbershop, out to breakfast, in a long line, at the coffee shop, etc. Make conversation, a lot of people will be happy to chat and some will invite you to things. Just gotta be ok with lots of chats.

For some of us at some times in our lives, having a relationship with two people is less work. It requires much more communication, better scheduling, and much more attention to your partners’ feelings … but that might be a good investment of time anyhow, and often gets overlooked.

I find that having multiple partners helps me appreciate each partner much more, for themselves – it’s easy to mix up how much you love just having a partner and being loved, with how you actually feel about that person. Poly gives you the distance and contrast to see your partners clearly, and that can be really special.

Yeah, this is my dynamic as well. My partner and I have been together for a decade and poly from the beginning. It’s not at all a secret, but people are so used to monogamy as a norm that they often just think our other partners are super close friends that hang out at our house a lot.

I’ve been in poly relationships most of my adult life, around 15 years now. I’m certainly familiar with the type of relationship you describe, but the long term, stable poly relationships are the ones that have been poly from the get go.

I don’t tend to date people who are “opening things up” in a previously monogamous relationship, because being someone’s learning experience is a bummer.

I’ve been in poly relationships for years. They work really well for me and my significant others, but we are pretty discreet about it because folks tend to be huge assholes about it.

Generally, you don’t see the poly relationships that work great; mostly, people see the type of scenario one of your other commenters described because the stable relationships are less visible.

We don’t! That’s the joy of it, just like people do, our algorithm will constantly waffle back and forth and argue with itself over whether these things are salads

I know, I was being humorous but it is in fact the way most categorization works. Very seldom is it a taxonomy; the way we recognize faces, voices, shapes, etc … it’s all probabilistic.

What we need is a salad categorizing multilayer neural network

So teeeeechnically, a salad is a dish composed of mixed ingredients. You could make the argument that you mix any two set of chopped ingredients and bingo bongo, it’s a salad.

However, I like to think that dishes’ ingredients aren’t a taxonomic thing, they’re a probabilistic thing. In other words, there’s no such thing as “not salad” or “salad”, only shades of saladness.

• Serve it cold? Ok it’s saladier

• It’s made up of chopped ingredients? Saladier still

• Those ingredients are mostly vegetables? Getting pretty saladish

• They’re mixed together? Even more salad like

• They’ve got some sort of dressing mixed in? Now it’s very likely a salad!

… and so on. To me, your SO’a dish has a pretty high Salad Probability^tm

My teens and 20s would be pretty interesting, if you’re into drama, crime and lots of psychedelic sub plots.

My 30s would be… pretty boring, things are a lot stabler.

To be fair, the Romans also had a lot of concrete that is not with us today, there’s a bit of survivorship bias going on here.

The definition of what “good coffee” is vary from place to place. The northeast has absolutely phenomenal American style coffee (focus on drip coffee and long pours), a lot of Europeans are after a really good espresso for €1.5.

Am an executive… agree with you on all fronts

It’s potentially worse than useful and actively confusing.

Welcome to philosophy! I’d recommend reading Spinoza, he lays it out very intelligently.

It’s simultaneously a way of disproving the existence of God (he was kicked out of his Jewish community and hounded around Europe by the Catholics for his atheism), and a way of replacing it with the concept of the infinite / of the universe. Lends itself to meditation and contemplation, but not to any kind of religious dogma.

BTW, the concept has nothing to do with love, or the fundamental aspect of humanity, etc. It’s just infinite extension, which encompasses every aspect of humanity, and of everything else.

I have a more complicated answer these days than I used to… the short answer is “no,” but the caveats make it longer.

I don’t believe in a god in the sense of an all knowing human type being that has thoughts and wishes and passes down commandments – basically, not the religious kind of God.

At the same time, I appreciate a lot of the Jewish traditions I grew up with, and Judaism has a lot more lassitude around what “God” means to you. To me, it’s Baruch Spinoza’s conception of God … basically, just “the universe,” of which each person is an integral part.

So in a “college freshman on acid feeling one with the universe,” kind of way, sure I believe in God. In a, “He got upset I masturbated way,” then no, not at all.

Yeah, prickly pears are tuna fruit, from the tuna cactus

Ditto

Yeah, I did a bit of poking around, check this out. Till the tuna canneries started showing up in the early 1900s in California, “tuna” was just as likely to prefix “cactus” as “fish”.

Mystery solved I think

There is, yes … that’s the main Spanish name for prickly pear.

Up until around 1907, your odds of encountering the fruit by the name “tuna” were about the same as the fish, when the first commercial canneries started to pop up in California… hence, a habit of clarifying between the two that stuck, even though most folks outside of the southwest had never heard of a tuna cactus.

I order a tuna salad sandwich or a tuna sandwich, but I grew up hearing tuna fish… specifically in reference to the stuff that came in a can.

Both were equally common years ago but over time, “tuna” sans fish has won out… likely because fresh, non canned tuna is very common.

I read an article a while ago that theorized the reason for Americans calling it “tuna fish” was that it rose to prominence as a canned staple good in the 1940s, and many Americans who didn’t live on the coasts had never heard of tuna before. Its light meat, when canned and cooked, was very mild and chicken-y compared with the heavily salted, oily canned fish folks were familiar with, hence both “chicken of the sea” and the precaution of labeling the can with not only tuna, but “fish”.

I think an alternate explanation is probably more likely… the 1919 Oxford English Dictionary describes “Tuna” as an alternative spelling of “tunny”, the old name for the fish (still used in a culinary sense in Britain) … not coincidentally:

• Californians would also have been familiar with the other tuna… tuna fruit, the prickly pear.

• Possessed of both a fruit and a fish of the same name, distinguishing one from the other when canning fish seems reasonable

• The largest canneries of tuna (e.g., the one that ultimately became Chicken of the Sea) were all based in California.