The penises were not because of the sewer backup, it’s just what you expected to see everyday. Edited the original post to clarify.

There was one study hall where a penis was drawn on the chalkboard every day. One time, the art showed the ejaculate dribbling a bit. The teacher came in, looked at it, shrugged, said “at least it’s a little more accurate,” erased it, and sat down.

That time the sewer backed up into the kitchen plus all of the penises carved into desks and walls.

Mostly Lemmy, but still appending reddit to my Google searches. Just started with Bluesky, seems promising.

If you’re ever a victim of these crimes, make sure to dial 0118 999 881 999 119 725 3.

James Bond is actually a time lord. It explains why he changes how he looks every few movies. This is backed up by the fact that Timothy Dalton played a time lord once in Doctor Who.

Spending hours with a bunch of ladies and possibly touching them in intimate locations.

vs

Spending hours with a bunch of guys and possibly touching them in intimate locations. Then showing with them.

Yeah, dance is way gayer.

Suddenly Seymour.

To me, a baby is often a poop butt because of the diaper. Teenagers are often shit asses because they’re rebelling.

I assume they take it to another toilet or a compost pile. Maybe they need a fecal transplant and don’t have health insurance.

A droll factoid.

A little too real for work, huh? 😂

A Thanksgiving duck!

My first thought: “Princess Diana was a real person.”

Derp

Holy motherforking shirtballs… someone stole my post idea!

Poop, pee, and in a pinch: hand washing and hydration.

Astroglide is perfect for this situation. It even has “glide” in the name!

Lemmyvores?

No worries. Misunderstandings happen. 😀

Perhaps I should have said “plush dog.”

I blew way too much money on a stuffed dog at a hotel general store for my wife. We were driving a Uhaul during a snowstorm to move in together. The roads became very slippery so we decided to sleep through the storm. It was our first hotel stay together and money was very tight, but it was a romantic gesture. She cherished it until our son claimed it as his own personal “security blanket.”