One of them Carpenter nerd types.

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  • 170 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 7th, 2023

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  • Wanted kids, got married and careered at the right time to fund kids, then wife had a major mental breakdown after funking out of college, developed schizophrenia, and now has the mentality of a kid. Some days a toddler, some days a high schooler. I’ve been the only household income since marriage year 2, and I can’t afford to deal with a pregnancy from that mental state or be basically a single parent afterward.

    I’m considering adoption of teens after I retire and the assumed passing of my wife as she has a small pile of other health issues at this point slowly eating away at her.


  • Things should work in the ways you describe. Sadly they often don’t due to untold decades of lowering funding and general neglect have made the systems we have in place for our most vulnerable slow and bad enough to be worse than useless. They’re actively harmful.

    People who are disabled from birth or before working age are religated to a minimum assistance payment that does in no way meet the basic requirements to live in most places in the United States. Filing for that is a lengthy process that’s often arbitrarily refused and requires even more time and effort put into it for (in many cases) a total payment less than the federal minimum wage monthly.

    This is why you’re seeing a lot of comments about OP getting moved in with family.




  • It seem incredibly unlikely anymore. Schizophrenia is a hell of a thing and getting the appropriate amount of support for anything like this that has a spectrum of severity is absolutely not possible. Besides the professional help my other half doesn’t seem very interested in improving their situation at all.



  • Bored. I’m out on my anniversary tradition, which is going apple picking… Except my other half immediately rolled out the picnic blanket and has been sleeping on me for the past hour.

    It’s sad to think of how the dynamics have changed over the past 10 years between us. It’s almost like the brain hamster wheels have all fallen apart and what’s left are only the most basic of human functions. It’s days like today I wish my country had any kind of worthwhile mental health care.



  • I’m tied down by one financial anchor and have opted to add two more smaller ones on top of that for giggles. I live very comfortably paycheck to paycheck, if I need to save for anything I can fairly easily put away around 3k a month. I can afford a random 1k expense without issue, currently anything above 2k would be a bit tougher, but still manageable.


  • I mean… you know how your bits work, it’s easy to figure that your partner knows how their bits work… It just takes some communication to do something that feels nice for both sets of bits.

    It’s not unusual for the first several times to be a bit awkward as you learn about the others preferences, but it gets better as you become more comfortable with the quirks of your partner.


  • The physical parts of it can be imitated well enough with the various devices, so you can experience those whenever.

    The emotional side of things is much more complicated. For that each person is very very different, and it really depends on the situation, relationship, and intentions… just to name a few sides.