It’s hopeless isn’t it? We complain about destroying the planet and being a horrible species, but both you and I are part of the problem.
Indulgence is selfish and being selfish is the reason humans have gotten to this point. But everyone’s going to be selfish, so why shouldn’t I be? There’s no hope of the world recovering. Might as well have a metaphorical doomsday party.
I hope I can have a peaceful death. One without horrible pain and fear leading up to it. Killing myself seems like the best way for that. Instead of dying slowly from disease, I can shoot myself and be gone before the pain starts. But again, the fear of death is so horrible… No matter how much I think about the fact that it’s just nothingness, it’s still terrifying. Before I was born I experienced nothingness, and it was fine. Returning to nothingness would be fine. But I’m so scared despite that
Sorry that you’ve been through so much
I eat because it’s painful not to. My sense of taste is nearly not there lmao
How does He help them?
Thank you. I definitely need to try moving slower through life
I’m planning to. I just need to structure my thoughts into a legible form so that I can talk about it. Maybe that’s what this post is about
Finding the area under a function in calculus. Super cool to me, for some reason. Imagine trying to make a small grid and counting out the area under a curve - you’d still be pretty inaccurate and it’d take forever.
I saw a photo of a chemical burn victim on r/eyeblech. The story goes that this guy cheated on his wife, and his wife found out. So she poured acid on his crotch. The acid had burned his scrotum away, but the balls themselves were still relatively intact. Each was just hanging from it’s respective tendril and resting against the burns on his legs.
That was the worst I’ve seen on a gore level. But I’ve seen some things that are worse on an emotional level.
Back when I was badly suicidal few years back, I went looking for suicide videos to get a more grounded understanding of what it’s like. I found a site with a lot of them. Won’t be giving out the name, cause you shouldn’t look for shit like this.
I remember seeing one of an Indian guy jumping from a high roof. He didn’t really move much in midair, he looked stiff and only squirmed a bit. When he landed it was just a relatively quiet thud and a crunch. He bounced once off the dirt. That one stuck with me the most.
Another that really got me was of an Asian who’d jumped onto train tracks. The train had cut his legs off, but he was still alive. In too much shock to do anything but lie there and look around at the people around him.
Then there’s the guy who got his head chopped off with a machete.
Remnants of a suicide bomber splattered across a street.
Then those videos on YouTube, mostly just audio. The brick and windshield. The girl calling the police because her brother shot himself. The audio ones comfort me in a way, but at first they really unsettled me.
Come to think of it, I’ve seen far to many of these… I definitely saw them at way too young an age
When I was in the first grade I was bullied for being weird. As a “fuck you” to my bullies, I embraced it and leaned into my natural weirdness. It took the sting out of their words. Eventually I started telling them “It’s better than being plain, boring, and normal”.
This mindset is 100% responsible for where I’ve ended up. I stopped thinking being weird is superior a long time ago, but I still have an enjoyment of my own oddities as pretentious as that sounds. I think this path I’ve taken is a very good one.
I made a friend recently who likes to use the plant emoji. It’s really sweet and refreshing, and it feels calming somehow. She’s very nice to me 🌱
Will the mobile apps listed work for kbin? I want to go with official apps because I’m very afraid of downloading some malicious or predatory software from unofficial parties
You are wrong and a dumb dumb I win gootbye
You are wrong and a dumb dumb I win gootbye
Thanks for the reminder
I’m sorry, could you explain your post? I’m struggling to understand