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Joined 9 months ago
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Cake day: October 3rd, 2023

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  • My grandpa passed a year ago now, COPD. Likely honestly a heart attack after all the steroid meds for his lungs created heart problems including a heart aneurysm. When he was diagnosed way back in 2006 they told us he had 5 years if he was lucky, I didn’t think he’d see me graduate HS. Well he had a lot more than 5 years in him but after about 2014 it was all shit. He started telling my grandma that he was ready to die, wanted to die, in 2018, he begged for it on hard nights. He tried to kill himself in 2021 and 2022. Both attempts left him strapped to a hospital bed “for his safety” as he struggled to breathe, he hadn’t been able to reliably breathe laying on his back for several years by then but they didn’t care as long as he lived.

    I never felt anything but sympathy for him after those attempts. As someone with chronic lifelong asthma, I know how my end will go. I know what it’s like to suffocate and struggle to breathe and in case anyone wonders, it fucking sucks. It’s terrifying, it’s slow, and you know it’s coming. Panic is inevitable. He felt like that for nearly 10 fucking years. He told me once after it had gotten bad that he’d always felt so bad for me as a kid to have asthma but now he finally understood, he said I was so brave to have dealt with it for so long but in that moment I didn’t feel brave I felt lucky. When I use my inhaler I can breathe again, for him it just made him struggle less. For a long time I wished he would die, my absolute favorite person on the planet, and I wanted them dead. It destroyed me mentally for years. When he finally did die it was horribly sad and also such a massive relief for everyone to know that at least he wasn’t suffering anymore.

    I say all this, partially to get it off my chest but mostly to say, if we are going to prolong life we need to also give people the option to check out. Life isn’t life without quality of health, it’s just suffering. Prolonging suffering makes use torturers, it’s not a saving grace. If we have the capacity to do this for our pets then people deserve the same mercy.


  • Fuck the CDC and late stage capitalism. One of my best friends is in a wheelchair for the rest of her life because of Long COVID, she can’t walk a few feet without being so out of breath she passes out. My mom got Long COVID the first and now the second time she’s been infected. She still coughs every time she walked around or does any activities. She has to carry an inhaler now but she doesn’t have asthma, just Long COVID. She got COVID only a few weeks ago and it’s was most definitely NOT like the flu for her or anyone I’ve known that’s gotten it.




  • I’m neridivergent and have issues with misophonia. Your description of listening to people eat was spot on. Hearing people chew food or smack gum makes me want to smack the gum the fuck up out of their mouth. I like these people but the reaction that misophonia causes in me feels barely containable. I’ve had to walk away from people to collect myself or have someone else help customers because of the physical and psychological reaction it causes. It feels violent and torturous. I also have this same reaction to kids and babies being loud or crying. Yes, your crotch goblin is cute. Yes, I recognize that they are kids and these things aren’t controllable. But that doesn’t stop me from having serious sound stimulation overloads that bring me to the brink of sanity, that’s not controllable either no matter how much I wish it was. .

    OP, best way to deal with it if it is a misophonia issue is to carry around ear plugs or do what I do and get some nice noise cancelling earbuds. If you’re in a situation that you cant use these things, like a family gathering of people who won’t understand what you’re going through, take frequent breaks. Go outside, go take a breather on the bathroom, talk with someone you trust and see if they will step aside with you for a bit because I’m 100% sure there are others there that don’t want to hear the kids being loud.




  • FFXIV

    I don’t PVP so I can’t speak to that but the lore and PVE is solid. Gameplay is very classic MMO. The releases continue to be ranked and reviewed higher with each one that comes out. Players are strongly encouraged to help new players (sprouts) via the mentoring program. Community has been so good, very helpful, never seen anyone rage or get angry at a new person, or anyone for that matter. Very LGBTQ+ friendly. TONS of fun stuff to do on the side between chapters like glamour or housing for folks that want a chill experience or you can do savage raids or hunts for the more hardcore game play focused players. Me and a friend love to just run around to all the apartments and houses to check out everyone’s place from time to time. Some are really amazing. I’ll throw mine and my buddy’s apartment in that ring we put a lot of work in and did some really cool tricks to make the space feel bigger and more unique. Some people turn their houses into cafes or dance clubs, some require RPing when you visit some don’t. They are pretty fun to go to. From time to time they’ll have giveaways for gill or items at the parties.

    BONUS: It’s totally free up to level 70 so you have plenty of time to figure out if the game is for you.

    I’m not playing right now, taking a quick break but I’m in the NA server Sargatanas. The name is Obi-Bun Kenobi, I think I have the address to my place in my Adventurer Plate. I leave the apartment unlocked so people can use it for g-posing or just to have a nice place to hang. Come check it out sometime!


  • Yea Jackson was a real piece of work. And yes you are also correct that he was a massive inspiration for Hitler, most Americans don’t know that. Hitler would quote portions of Jackson’s speech to Congress about the Indian Removal Act during his own speech about the Jewish people. In fact, Hitler didn’t actually come up with very much on his own in terms of the annihilation of the Jewish people and conquer of Europe. In Jackson’s speech to Congress he called it the “the final solution to the Indian problem” which should sound quite familiar to those who know WWII history. Everything from ghettos, work camps, mass extermination, medical experiments, stolen children, sterilization, and death marches were straight out of Jackson’s playbook.

    In one of Hitlers speeches he says that he wanted to “make Germany greater than even the great American empire which had succeeded in creating a perfect society for God’s chosen race, chaining any of the savage native inhabitants still alive in camps to work and starve.” He would also go on to say, “the East will be our Redmen and the Volga our grand Mississippi.” When Nazi Germany did finally invade Poland the German newspapers quoted their head general (iirc), “Go East young men, go East!” His plan wasn’t just war, it was settler colonialism à la USA style and all of his top generals were aware.

    If anyone is ever in any doubt about how horrifying the conquest of hundreds of Indigenous Nations really was just remember this. As absolutely and indescribably evil as Hitler was, he wasn’t completely successful, Jackson and the United States were. (In regard to the conquest of a continent. Genocide is genocide, there’s no competition for the greatest evil this world has to offer.)


  • No problem, I’m always happy when someone is interested in learning more! I’m Muscogee Creek, specifically Thlopthlocco but Creek or Muscogee is preferable and easier for everyone lol. I’d recommend some books. One is not too long and it’s the one I would start with, it will help reframe a person’s understanding of who indigenous people are which I think is essential. Otherwise all further learning is being done behind a false idea of who Indigenous people are. Something I remember most from this book was along the lines of, “for many people Indians don’t exist and if they do exist it’s outside of their preconceived notion of who they are so to them they aren’t real Indians. They have placed themselves as the experts on what it is to be Indian.” The books, All the Real Indians Died Off: And 20 Other Myths about Native Americans by Dina Gilio-Whitaker and Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz. The second would be, An Indigenous Peoples' History of the United States by Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz

    Id you’d like something quick and dirty online the War of 1812 was also the Creek Civil War, the first one. The Northern Creeks, my people, were fighting against being colonized further by the US, we didn’t want to be Americans or give away anymore of our country. Jackson, the president on the $20, and his army skinned Northern Creek people some still living and used our skin to make leather reigns for their cavalry horses. They then went to a nearby village slaughtered who they could and locked the remaining women, children, and elderly in their homes and burned them alive. He saved one baby, a boy, who he sent home to be a "pet" for his son, which is what he wrote in a letter to his wife. He meant to make an example of how we could be “civilized” and was going to send the Creek boy to West Point but the political climate had changed. Americans didn’t want to see Indians “civilized” anymore they wanted us gone. He was never going to be able to pass the Indian Removal Act if people saw we were just like them so he sent the Creek boy to be a saddler instead. He died of TB not long after. Then Jackson sent thousands of us, starving and freezing, on a death march across the country to Oklahoma. (I had links in here for you. For the books and the pages about the war but they didn’t seem to work. It’s an easy wiki dive though.)

    Totally more than you asked for but I got on a roll. It’s rare someone asks so I try to post as much as I can so people don’t have to go far to learn a bit more of the real history of the US. It’s important we know so we all can heal and move forward, together.



  • There’s not a clear and conscience alternative to “American.” If you’re trying to differentiate us from other people from the Americas you’d just say US Citizen. And while yes the entirety of this hemisphere is some variation of America be it North, Central, or South the other countries here have distinct names and we really don’t.

    At the risk of sounding like a typical US asshole, here goes nothing. This is how I’ve explained it to friends from Europe and it seemed to help.

    If Brazil had decided to go by the name “United States of Brazil” we would still call them Brazilians because there is another country with the title “United States” that also exists. Similar to how we call people from the Peoples Republic of China, Chinese. We don’t call them “People’s Republicans” because that’s a title not a unique identifier or name. What if that same country decided to go by the name the Peoples Republic of Asia instead, would we call them Peoples Republicans or would we call them Asians?

    The title “United States” is telling you that this area is united together and the borders represent states, not country’s. “America” tells you where those united states are, the continent of America. The term “American” is generalized and honestly doesn’t accurately represent the vast cultural differences within the United States. The states often have their own rights and laws separate from the US government and also unique cultures. Ideally we would be called by our states name for its citizens like Californian or New Yorker, for example. Similar to how you would refer to people from Europe as European unless you wanted to be specific to Italy, then you’d say Italian. But sometimes you need a general term, hence “American.”

    All that being said, it is problematic and a massive reminder of this country’s bloodthirsty and genocidal colonization of a large part of North America. Looking at the country’s past shows that they were very much trying to also get central and south America as part of the United States. What better way to propagandize and make it look like they had every right to the rest of the Americas than to make it appear as though this country or that country already was America and therefore should be part of these United States? But however problematic it is this is the name we have now, for better or worse.

    As an addendum of sorts. We Indigenous Americans would often much rather be called by the names of our sovereign Nations yet everyone calls us Native American. Why is that? Food for thought that might help with understanding the problematic struggle we have here. It’s not simply us as citizens that perpetuate the issue, it’s a global colonization effort whether the others realize they are participating or not. (Spoiler: they realize)

    tldr: because colonization + United States is a title not a name