I had my first one 6 weeks after having a baby. Cervix was still soft and I think they could have baseball pitched that thing in from across the room.

I got my most recent one in last year, 10 years after having my final child, and goddamn now I understand what people were complaining about

His internal monologue; “Just lift the corners of your lips and it will look natural”

Seems like we should add kudzu bugs and giant pandas to North America, and all will be well 😄

Oh god, keep the bamboo and kudzu in their native environments. The ecosystem has been through enough!

RIP to the Endangered Species Act

No chance the US government will forego money for their broligarchs because of environmental laws.

But if you really want to overwhelm someone’s property with an unkillable native plant, I’d have to put Virginia creeper forward as a candidate.

I can see why you would stop hanging out with someone who treats people so little respect

And how quickly was that person banned from r/conservative?

It’s so weird to me that people pre-plan cheating. You always hear the story that “it just happened”. However, now that I’m in my 40s, I’ve found that it is so often someone who spends lots of time considering it and shopping the idea around to their friends to see if they can find someone to tell them it’s ok.

But dandelions make delicious jelly that tastes like honey.

Let’s make him something worse. Giant hogweed - invasive species that gives you skin burns and possible blindness if you end up touching your eyes with the oils. Seems suitable?

If that happened to me, I’d be dropping both those relationships - I also expect my platonic friends not to fuck me over

You’re probably right. About 5 years ago I recall seeing a link to an entirely bot-populated sub. The conversations were almost indistinguishable from humans - it was really eerie. After that I had a hard time using Reddit because I had to assume that any comment responding to me might just be a computer program

But if she said she would have done things differently, it would have been played as disloyalty and the media would have a field day accusing her of hating her former boss and admitting to doing a terrible job. It was a lose-lose question.

But is there any reason to expect things will suddenly get better when he does? His allies will fight each other for the throne when he dies and the most unscrupulous will win it

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To follow the true traditional method, you should ask a witch for a forecast, and when she gives one you burn her at the stake for witchcraft.

I’m a Canadian in my 40s and a regular once-a-day shitter. I have not experienced a shit so violent that I have destroyed a toilet. However, I have enjoyed Thai food so spicy that my asshole burned.

Yeah I think it was more of a hyperbolic comment to the reporter rather than an official recommendation. He thinks we should eat more greens and less fried stuff, which is in line with pretty much every nutritional guideline out there

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Gas station ads are a thing

My grandfather had a selection of Newfoundland yarns that he would tell at every family dinner. We probably heard these stories 100 times over the years and knew when to smile or laugh.

And truly, now that he’s gone, what I wouldn’t give to hear him tell one of them again….