Better than butt stuff

  • 2 Posts
  • 18 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: June 13th, 2023

help-circle


  • Let’s put a cap on how much excess energy the body can store as fat. Sure, some amount is fine and has a number of uses, but just let me poop some excess calories out. I’d only need more if I were to hibernate.

    Thinking on it, I want to hibernate too, please.

    While we’re at it from animals, how about upping some of our regeneration? Teeth don’t regrow? Naw, constant regen please. I get too big of a cut and I get a scar? Let’s let everything regrow from being lost if you can survive without it. Also why doesn’t the brain heal? Most important part of the body and each crack’s there for life. Let me get my serotonin back already, slacker.

    Also what’s with this getting assigned a gender thing? You don’t even get to know what it means before you have one! And then we build society as if this coin flip was the seed to the tree of life. Let people choose and switch naturally, please and thank you.




  • November

    • Blood Code - In the same way that I like to focus on horror games in October, I like to play Visual Novels in November. It’s Visual November! Get it?.. it’s… Blood Code was a bad game to start the month on, not necessarily because it’s not a good representation of visual novels, it’s just not good. I could rant on this for a while but ultimately: bad translation, poor design regarding rewards for using your time, unclear paths to routes, and laughably bad pacing at the beginning. Arts okay, though.

      D

    • Milk outside a bag of milk outside a bag of milk… - Much higher production value than the first and it shows. Comes together much better too, so that the chaotic and disjointed nature can be appreciated as part of the picture rather than just as a janky narrative.

      B

    • Just Deserts - One of the most vanilla time-management dating sims I’ve played. The writing ended up being more respectful of the cast than I was expecting, but they attempted to put a turn based battle system into a visual novel engine and oof.

      C

    • World End Economica episode 1 - Very much a part one of a large story rather than its own contained story, which is perhaps the part of it that I liked the least. The focus on day trading was too specific for me to really care about as well. Turns out that I couldn’t get fully invest… interested in that kind of narrative. In the end I felt more compelled to look up the other chapters’ endings online rather than actually play through the games to get there, which is a pretty big sin when it comes to narrative driven entertainment

      C

    • Coffee Talk - I find that simply comparing one game to another (or worse, a mixture of games) is lazy, reductive, and ultimately unfair when critiquing games. That said, it would be very difficult to talk about my experience here without referencing VA11 Hall-A. I played the latter last year and loved it. Easy S. This game is similar to the point where it’s hard not to think about VA11 Hall-A when playing as another drink-master-talking-to-customers 'em up. This made an interesting use of its world and had a fun, if a touch underutilized, cast. The Indonesian flair added a nice flavor to the game as well. Interested in picking up the next one.

      B

    • Hustle Cat - I like this one for how much it is itself. A very casual game that isn’t a masterpiece but isn’t trying to be. Short story with romantic branches of working in a cursed cat cafe. The kind of moderate comfort of a TV movie on a sunday afternoon.

      B

    • Utawarerumono: Prelude to the Fallen - A series that I had thought would be far hornier than it ended up being going in due to my wife’s very vague knowledge of the series. The game is a very competently written story in a feudal Japanese fantasy world, something I wish showed up more in Japanese games. Its fatal flaw is the inclusion of tactical battles which the team very clearly did not fully grasp the design of. They aren’t terrible, a balance toward the player making them more tedious than anything else. However, I enjoyed the story to the point that they didn’t bother me. I cannot fully ignore them when trying to grade the game, though.

      B, would have easily been A without the tactics battles

    • Higurashi no Naku Koro ni: Tatarigoroshi - I went from being a fan of the series through the original anime to loving it through the games. Who would have guessed the “book” would be better than the “movie”, eh? Even as what I had thought was one of the weaker points of the overall story and already knowing its conclusion, I was fully invested in visiting it again. These games have a very different feeling of tragedy to them when you know the answers to the mysteries presented and why certain things are happening. As with the others in the series, one will need a healthy resistance to anime foibles to be able to appreciate this fully.

      A

    • Elisa the Innkeeper - I am trying to limit this list to games that I have finished, but this is a rare one that I know for certain that I will not finish. I applaud anyone for being able to fully create a game, but that is where my praise will end here. Not offensive in its existence, but nothing of quality.

      F

    December

    • Unpacking - Freedom from gimmicks! For the most part. December can be my clean up month, so what better way to start than an organizing game! I love how the devs were able to convey character and narrative with so little when it comes game mechanics. Short and sweet.

      A

    • Nightmare Reaper - Turns out that I rather like Doom-like shooters. Now it seems like the cool kids are calling them movement shooters rather than boomer shooters, but who knows if that one will stick. Nightmare Reaper is a rogue-lite affair with a high number of rather short levels and looter-shooter elements. These both work very well in the system and lead to a very addictive game. It also has a rather unique upgrade system where each upgrade is earned by completing a simple retro minigame that take the place of skill trees. The game runs a touch long, considering it expects the player to loop through a la Diablo, but not so much that I grew tired of it.

      A

    • Psychonauts 2 - I had watched this game nervously the entire time it was in development. I had loved Psychonauts, but it is so easy for a narrative driven experience to fall short in its sequel. I couldn’t be happier to be wrong here. I could go on and on about all the things that make Psychonauts 2 great. I will instead just say that, in an industry that has become obsessed with outside validation, where devs spend hours and hours replicating the limitations of the real world through face scanning celebrities and making digital film grains, Psychonauts 2 shows just how spectacular of an experience you can make when you throw off the shackles of what’s real and embrace everything that video games could be.

      S


  • July

    • Say No! More - A game about boundaries that is extremely silly. Able to entertain for a few hours despite having as minimal gameplay as you can get

      A

    • Later Alligator - I had been introduced to the animator’s Youtube channel the year before and so bumped this up my backlog. A very charming mini game collection that plays hard into the creator’s strengths. It requires a few playthroughs to see everything, though it’s not that long of a game so this is not an issue. The only hang up there are a few parts that drag a bit. Would easily recommend this to anyone I thought would gel well with the humor.

      A

    August

    • Remnant: From the Ashes - This game was good enough to break me out of a Deep Rock Galactic hole that I had fallen down through the summer. A rather unique take on the looter shooter genre that was rather refreshing compared to things like Destiny or Borderlands. This was aided by a fantasy setting that didn’t borrow too heavily from Tolkein either. While there was room to improve in most areas, I enjoyed myself enough that I kept playing levels after the campaign concluded. This is even when the final boss was a bit of a let down to the rest of the game. Look forward to eventually making my way to the second!

      A

    • NieR Replicant - The opening of the game was slow enough to get me to fall off for a while when I originally played. I loved Automata, though, and so was determined to get back into this one. Glad I did as well! While I don’t think that it is as strong as Automata, it still pulls its weight. It was very fun seeing all of the seeds that references in Automata grew from. I’ll avoid doing too much comparison with its predecessor and say that this is a solid story held up by competent combat and an interesting world. While appreciate the art direction it takes, it was very nice to move onto something with more color.

      A

    September

    • Shantae and the Pirate’s Curse - I have only experienced Risky’s Revenge and a tiny bit of 1/2 Genie Hero before this, so my experience with Shantae is limited. I… don’t want to say that her fanbase is inflated by character design but I’m sure it doesn’t help. This game is a fairly standard 2D platformer with the typical WayForward cheesecake. It never got so out of hand to detract, so I won’t knock any points off. Sometimes all you need is a comfortably competent game, and I think Shantae is a good fit for that.

      B

    October

    • Dusk - In October I make it a point to focus on horror games. I find that limitations can help me pick out more obscure games in my library to try and leads to some unique experiences. At the very least, it got me to take a break from Dota 2 and Baldur’s Gate 3. Dusk is a classic style shooter and one that I associate with the resurgence of the genre. It is a very solid game that perhaps stays a bit too close to its roots at times. That said, the shooting is solid, the maps were fun even if they bleed together in my memory, and it was just the right length to satisfy without overstaying its welcome.

      A

    • Buddy Simulator 1984 - Every once in a while a game while come out that will have something about its general atmosphere that I feel like it is something special. Unfortunately, I mistaken in thinking this game was one of those. It is by no means a bad game, a cute meta narrative that takes place in your computer that’s all the rage these days. However the game doesn’t do enough with the concept for it to get much beyond set dressing. Charming writing keeps the game going, but the segments that comprise it are too short to be wholly satisfying on their own and two long to be completely forgiven for their blandness.

      C

    • Pumpkin Jack - I love a good 3D platformer, and this one was okay. The game falls more in the Crash Bandicoot camp of a long corridor level than the Mario/Banjo camp of wide open space. It drenches itself in spooky, exaggerated imagery to help distract from overall mediocre gameplay. I’m not sure if it’s intended, but I played with RTX which lead to an aggressive amount of bloom. I kept it on despite not being perhaps the best look due to it standing out and enjoying the idea of how raytracing can be used to enhance darkness rather than light.

      C

    • Left 4 Dead 2 - I know that this is a bit late for how big of a game this was, but I have some difficulty with multiplayer only games. As I don’t have friends that play similar games as me, I rely on whatever solo-queue a game has to offer which can make them hit or miss. This game I think is one that requires more coordination/banter with friends to be fully enjoyable because I found the experience a bit bland. There is also possibility that some of this is just “Seinfeld isn’t funny” syndrome due to it being (the sequel to) the progenitor of the co-op shooter. Not bad by any means, but can’t personally see why people can spend dozens to hundreds of hours in this.

      B

    • Forgive Me Father - Another classic shooter, this one going more Lovecraft than biblical hell. The comic book style, upgrade system, and abilities help it stand out in an increasingly crowded genre. The voice actor for the female lead was… I think what it was on purpose? She would not have stood out in a Neil Breen film, so I enjoyed myself with the performance either way.

      A

    • Dread X Collection 2 - Really like… 9ish games, but putting them as a collection feels more fair than each individually. I technically beat all but one, but the one was difficult to the point of being obtuse. A nice gamejam style group of bite sized experiences if you want some variety when getting your spooky on. I chose 2 because of the audacity of the name “Squirrel Stapler.” I will likely do at least one more of these next year!

      Varied

    • Resident Evil 5 - I know going in that this was a part of Capcom’s stink period. It now in the past, I can see both why it wasn’t received the best and why the feeling has lightened over time. If games were bananas, RE5 would be one that had blackened enough that you have to have a small debate with yourself before unpeeling it. Perhaps it would be better to leave and save for bread, but I’m hungry for potassium now! It has fully leaned into action game at this point but still has enough jank in the controls to not be a satisfying one. The forced co-op was an idea, I suppose, but as someone who is always solo I hated having to deal with the aughties AI. Ashley at least never had to fight over a catwalk by herself. Bosses also took way too much ammo. Like, walking in fully loaded wouldn’t guarantee that you’d be able to kill the boss before running completely out. That said, I hope that Capcom continues their remakes with this one, because I do think you could make a great game out of it with a number of tweaks.

      C

    • Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night - I have very fond memories of playing Dawn of Sorrows on the DS back when that came out, so had been excited to try this for a while. While I had hoped to like it more than I ultimately did, the game was still a solid metroidvania and good time. The castle could have used a touch more variation, the areas could have been a smidge tighter in their design, and the combat a hair smoother, but the game comes together into an enjoyable package. I feel like the team could really shine in a sequel.

      B


  • Oh hey, I was debating one of these…

    January

    • Spark the Electric Jester - Surprisingly good classic Sonic clone with a soundtrack that punches well above its weight. Doesn’t run as well as a game of its type should, however.

      B (Would have been an A if not for performance issues)

    • ittle Dew - Short puzzle game set up in the 2D Zelda style. Puzzles are clever enough to be engaging without the difficulty getting so hard that its frustrating. Had seen some of the characters in other games that the group produced, so it was fun to see ground zero.

      B

    • Freedom Planet - Decided to continue the Sonic-like train. Had bounced off of this one in the past due to the… acting… however came back after learning there was a no-cutscene mode. Has a lot going for it and an overall enjoyable experience

      B

    • Warhammer 40k: Dawn of War - A friend got me watching videos related to Starcraft which got me in an RTS itch. However, Blizzard is on my no-play list due to a number of reasons under the being-bastards umbrella. I thought this would get close enough. It was pretty good! Not quite what I was used to in an RTS, with just a few unit types and upgrades. The campaign was a fun little romp that put in a commendable effort

      B

    February

    • The Procession to Calvary - Basically a Terry Gilliam animation turned into a game. Completely farcical point and click adventure. Enjoyed it quite a bit, but I can get down with stupid humor.

      B

    • Final Fantasy XIV Stormblood - Rather than keep a constant subscription, I’ll buy a month of time for an MMO every couple of months when I get the itch to play. My wife has been excitedly pushing me along as well so that she can talk with me more about the story. This expansion is widely considered to suffer from what I call Dark Souls 2 syndrome. Good in its own right, but sandwiched between more memorable experiences. I don’t know if I fully agree, as I enjoyed my time with this quite a bit. May have been that the location split lead to more varied environments than the ever-present cold of Heavensward. I am excited to move to Shadowbringers after getting through another season of blasted patch content.

      B (Expansion grade only)

    March

    • Divinity: Original Sin Enhanced Edition - This was my first Larian game. I had heard that 2 was excellent and there were good words about Baldur’s Gate 3 at the time and so gave in to my completionistic nature and started with the first. It was quite good, if not quite what I was expecting. For one the tone was far more comedic than I had thought going in and it was quite different than the typical RPG by having a handful of large maps with a finite number of enemies rather than more numerous small ones that repopulate. I would come to learn that this is Larian’s style.

      A

    • ICEY - I had often heard good things about this and had been meaning to get to it for quite a while. I kind of wish that I hadn’t, in the end. The star of the show here is the unreliable narrator throughout. This does lend to a more interesting experience than otherwise, but ultimately doesn’t lead into a bigger theme or narrative. It still could have been a generally positive experience if the combat weren’t so pants. I didn’t hate it, but was still thoroughly let down after hearing so much praise

      C

    • Hedon Bloodrite - The first of the two chapters in it at least - On the edge of horny but never crosses the line into embarrassing. A solid Doom clone that favors much larger and more labyrinthine levels than its inspiration. Weapons were varied and all filled a niche rather than overlapping. Had a fun time and am wondering why I haven’t done the second part yet.

      B

    April

    • The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog - The title makes it feel like a shitpost, but it was cute enough. Nothing special but did pull out enough chuckles from me that I can’t disparage it too much

      C

    • Eternal Senia - A very simple game that I believe is RPG Maker? The graphics have that style, at least, but the combat is a bumper system more like the original Ys than anything turnbased. Again, inoffensive if a touch bland. I have a soft spot, though, for Ragnarok Online and this plays it some homage in the designs.

      C

    • A Little to the Left - I agree with my wife here in that the game is fine when its fulfilling its premise of satisfying organization game, however it loses faith in itself too early. That or the devs ran out of ideas for things to organize. Too many stages are spent trying to figure out the pattern that the devs want rather than simply organizing things yourself.

      C

    • Doom Eternal - I had a blast with this. I had liked Doom 2016 quite a bit, but this blew me away. The faster pace, more varied levels, and well designed arenas elevated this game to one of my favorite shooters of all time. Enemies are supposed to be obstacles in games, but I found myself excited whenever I knew that a big fight was about to take place just for how fun it was. It’s less that Doom Eternal is awesome, and more that calling something awesome is to say it resembles Doom Eternal.

      S

    May

    • killer7 - I’d like to think that SUDA51 at least knows what’s going on here. I give this one a lot of bonus points to carry it through the jank, the impenetrable story, and the regular moments of getting lost for just how original it is. I can appreciate when someone tries something really out there because sometimes it leads to a real gem. While I wouldn’t say this is a gem, it is not a failure either. I can definitely understand others adoring this game.

      B

    • Warhammer 40k Dawn of War Winter Assault - Did you know that this game is four games? Me either. Around this time in the year, a friend of mine commit an unforgivable sin of getting me into Warhammer. I don’t know if I’m going to make it. With that interest and good feelings of the previous game, I continued through the dubiously labelled expansions. This one was pretty good! I rather liked how it was split over multiple factions rather than just being space marines the whole time. Overall just more of the same, but that’s fine when the starting point is good.

      B

    June

    • Warhammer 40k Space Marine Anniversary Edition - Continuing what I’m sure is just a temporary kick and not something that will haunt me for years, I played Space Marine. This reminded me of the mid level PS2 game of the past that I think that the industry needs more focus on. It offered a fun action experience without requiring every coin in a sultan’s coffers to put yet more polygons on the screen. Just a jolly time killing Orcs and Chaos Marines. I sure do hope the sequel doesn’t suck

      B

    • Street Fighter V Story Mode - While SF4 is technically my first Street Fighter, I started right on the ass end of it. Further, I didn’t have any real kick of the game until well into 5. I’m not one to do much competitive play, both a coward and generally bad at the game, but still enjoy myself well enough with fighters. I had gone through each fighter’s personal story the year before (easier than it sounds) and wanted to clear out at least the story mode before 6 came out. Both the story and the art style gave off every impression of a kid playing with action figures, which sometimes is all you need. Given that many fighting games have recently foregone single player campaigns completely, I can appreciate even a competent one.

      B


  • I’ve made goals to help with that and partially gamify completion. Helped me get to where it’s more reflex to pick up a game and play it through completion rather than dick around in service games or bounce midway through a bunch of different titles

    I started by just putting a complete x games this year goal, but found that it punished me too much from playing longer games. Instead, I gave myself a point total that I’d aim for for the year and then assigned games points.

    A good goal I’ve found is about 30-35 points, as it is reachable without having to super grind at games or sacrificing other hobbies. This is supposed to be fun rather than a chore. Games have points based on the following:

    Game base point value: Howlongtobeat average playtime /10 rounded up to the nearest .5. This since people tend to report on the low end on that website. Also, games with a lot of side content shouldn’t be penalized, so sometimes real play time / 10 works as well. For example, Skyrim’s completion would technically be after finishing the main quest but that isn’t at all what Skyrim is about.

    100%ing/Platinuming the game gets x2 points

    Substantial DLC for the game are considered separate games for the point of the list.

    A game that I had beaten in the past only offers half base points, however getting 100%/platinum on a game that I previously hadn’t counts as a full game completion.

    The game’s full points are only earned on game completion.



  • The best that comes to mind would be VA11-HALL A if you don’t mind something completely character driven and with essentially no plot. Game play elements are there but very, very light. Western developed despite an obvious love of eastern media, doesn’t fall into high school stories, and well written.

    The Life and Suffering of Sir Brante was one that I downloaded to try this month but didn’t get around to. Will keep the recommendation in mind~

    It’s a bit harder to find western developed ones as the genre is much younger in the west. General perception amongst publishers were that they were a terrible translation cost to profit ratio and that western audiences wouldn’t be interested in them. I heard a rumor before that Valve held this opinion as well and thereby didn’t accept many onto steam. They were so surprised by the success of some that made it through green light that they decided that they didn’t know everything that players wanted and this caused the much lighter approach they took to moderating green light.




  • Let’s put aside the many, many problems of insurance companies in reality and talk in terms of two parties acting in good faith for ease of demonstration.

    Let’s take random person Alice who has insured her wrench set at Insurance Company X. Her wrench set is very important to her job and she only believes in high quality tools, so it is quite expensive. So expensive, that if something were to happen to it, she might not be able to replace it right away. Instead, she pays Company X for an insurance policy. Alice can afford to pay a little bit every month and so this is a good set up.

    Uh oh, an impromptu stomp band raided Alice’s store and appropriated her wrenches as drumsticks. They’re ruined! Luckily, Alice is insured and Insurance Company X pays her for replacement wrenches.

    Unfortunately for Company X, Alice needed new wrenches before her monthly payments would exceeded the price of the wrenches. So how did they have the money? Well, they have more customers than just Alice. They use some of the money that they get from others to help buy the wrench set in the same way some of Alice’s money is used with other problems as a way to socialize the losses.

    As you might guess, this requires more people. More people contributing at once means a bigger pool of money that can cover bigger individual losses when the time comes. As such, Insurance Company X uses a portion of the money they get to recruit more users and thereby make their system work better.

    But also greed. Lots and lots of greed.