I agree with you.

I think argueing if adhd might be over or under diagnosed makes adulds feel even more ashamed.

I also don’t like blaming self diagnosis. Women having a hard time finding professionell help, cause they never fit into stereotypical adhd behaivor. They seen as overreacting and emotional.

Yes. I search a good figdet toy, but all i find online is either shitty or mega expensiv. There is like no way of finding these things in local stores.

I add: reading the rulebooks/ description of the ttrpg world. The rules are dry to read and the flauvor is often vague. Often i read and can’t remember the stuff seconds later 😆

What is also boring af are discussions with players, who are no historians, but say “this fantasy setting is sooo authentic middle age!”.

I might understand how you feel. Opening up is a good first step. But after that? I don’t know. What steps to take and how long your path will be… no one knows.

Whenever anxiety tries to take controll of me… whenever i am angry at my own progress, i think about a little story:

A man takes a morning-walk on the beach. During the night there was a terrible storm, spreading tousands of seastars over the sand. He sees a woman trying to bring the seastars back to the water.

He walk up to her and asks: “why are you even doing this? You will just save a few, but the majority will die when the sun rises.”

She bend down to pick one seastar up and throws it into the ocean. “Maybe. But this one i have saved.”

Changing is hard and often feels pointless. The only thing we can do is doing things step by step.

That woman, queer folk and PoC want too much space in this world.

That there are no obsticals for those groups, they just made them up.

I am not activly thinking that. But everytime i wish to speak my mind i am still asking myself “should i say something? Am i qualifyed enough? Maybe i get called out for being stupid 🥲”

I… dunno.

My ex ignored me for like two weeks and had become closed of. He reinsured me, that everything was fine when i asked him. But the next time he visted me, he said that he wanted to break up, saying he made up his mind two weeks earlier. But i dunno his reason for it.

The break up was okay. I though about it myself, cause he treated me bad the whole 5 month we were together: he talked bad about my interessets and hobbys. He overstepped my bounderies. And everytime, i made him aware of that, he was like “you didn’t make that clear enough”. He made me push my bounderies.

Sadly, i allowed this kind of behaivor back than. I was used to it. During that time i did not know about adhd. I always acted weird as a woman and felt bad for not fitting in. I acted impulsive and had mood swings. I wanted someone to love me, accept me. So i excused these behaivors.

No. I did not allowed that behaivor. But he made me feel like i was crazy when i wanted to talk about how i felt.

Now i have more selfesteem, i am weird and loud and full of my ideas. I am in a beatiful relationship, i am loved and accepted as who i am. I But of course that expierence still hunts me. It still hurts.

You are right. I want to add some historical perspective as well (but sorry i am no englisch naitive):

Marriage is importaint for a society who has land and money to own. To give it to the next generation, your kind. Marriage wasn’t that of a deal until martin luther, who declared it as a holy union between two people.

Every republican tries to argue with Religion, but they don’t know where these stuff came from. They don’t care, cause if they unreavel it, they would see it’s all constructed.

All of history woman worked in all kind of jobs. There never was a big issue about that. But the industrial Revolution chanced that. Since than rich people tried to structure workplaces, tried to increase their money. While making a huge impact on societys structures. Woman became unpaid housewifes. Put into care work. City Infrastructur, healthcare is for men, so they can work more and better. So their boss can make more money.

It is scary. So scary. And frustrating. But it is importaint to deconstruct what conservatives are saying. They try to argue with Tradition or science. But we felt for it over the decades. We made fun of feminism, queer folk, vegans or PoC. Or disabelt people. We turned on each other.

Yes, you are truly right!

One Dimension is accessibility for people who are going through a mental crisis. Who are not taken serious, who can’t access healthcare put of poverty. Who are queer, but are forced to live under another identity. Who have been threaten horribly because of weird practices.

The other Dimension is a society/authoritarian state making their people sick. Cause in east germany (and in many other states that exist today) normal people were treaten poorly and grind down (right word?). They were made depressed, anxious, paranoid. In ordner to lose their free will, so they can’t become rebellious.

This made east german psychiatry based on the own body and the “chemicals in the brain”. You just throw some medicine at someone and your job is done. You don’t have to fix unjustice, giving people a home or a good wage.

My stepdad was a refugee from east germany. But i grew up after the fall of the Berlin Wall. Too much trauma in this family, but nobody ever talked about that. So i spend a lot of time trying to understand what was going on. And what impact it had on me and my siblings. I went to therapy, but i never really needed that. It gave me stability were my parents couldn’t give me much. But as a woman and queer person i am faced with so much unjustice, just “beeing confidend” doesn’t make stuff better. My asexuality can’t be healted cause it’s no illness.

In a united germany there is this lie that we are all democratic, tolerant, future orientated, that Talent and hard work will make ones life better. “An individual just need to get their shit toghether” and we all can live a happy heteronormativ life in a cruel oeconomic Environment. i hate this mindset so much 😆

And then there are Heilpraktiker, an esotheric abormination. Who say that cancer comes from a broken heart… and people believe them. Cause they don’t trust medicine.

In the end i am not shure were my weird mind is going. Cause to much stuff in a smal text. But i hope i can someday help people finding the right way: some need medicine, some a therapy, some need to create a union. but we all need a country that is taking their job serious. Who feels responsibil for their people! 😤

Op is my todays hero ☺️

Cause i am an science historian interessted in the history of psychology and psychiatry. I want to understand why normal citizen are so paranoid when it comes to seeking psychologal help. When i found up what bs doctors in east germany did to their patients…

it is really importaint to double question your knowledge!

What reddit taught me: as a scientist working for a gouverment run institute i had no idea of all the bureaucracy and administration stuff. Redditors from my country told me a lot. Now i know how to nor be a 'arbeitsdrohne’😆

Yeah, i can relate. Yesterday i empathized with people doing moral wrong stuff, saying that i can understand their logic. And than was acused that it would be my logic. That irrate me the whole night, but in the end it just was my brutal honesty and a lack of black and white thinking.

But yeah, it hurts when people missread that. I hope you doing good :)