No. But she knows how frustrated I am as well.

I can’t change the past, and progress to right a wrong is way longer than it takes to lose trust. However, I don’t know how much longer I can take not feeling like I’m worth the effort, the same effort that gave us four awesome children.

I feel a huge gaping hole in my heart each and every day, and she knows this. So, I’m going to go to my therapy that I’ve gone to off and on for 8 years, get in the best physical shape I’ve ever been in, and find a way to find contentment in a shitty environment.

Ehh, better than last week.

Final appt coming up in two weeks with my therapist of 3ish years. Still nervous about potential waiting lists.

Got soft diagnosed with BPD today. Explains a lot of my ups and downs on a short term basis.

Meds are decent. Lamotrigine is the worst pill to take in existence though.

Couldn’t they just put a minuscule coating on it?

Our next session (next week), she will provide info and referrals to other providers.

I’m nervous that I’ll have to go on a wait list again. Took me three months to get back on her schedule when I changed insurances.

She’s been my therapist for nearly three years.

Not great.

I’m losing my therapist in two weeks, as she’s leaving my provider.

I don’t have a lot going well on my end. Wife and I had a massive argument that reset any progress we’ve made in the last 6-12 months.