Working analog clock minute hands after the first minute.

Surely they can’t all be this dumb.

After a few decades following American politics you’ll realize that yes, yes they can all be that dumb.

Just have a general conversation with your most conservative neighbors about basically anything and you’ll quickly learn that there’s nothing they don’t have an opinion on and their level of ignorance is… Impressive.

Like, dude, you’re 60+ years old and you think hurricanes are a conspiracy‽ The point where they lost their mind was long ago.

Sooner or later you can’t help but wonder if they ever had sanity or they just faked it long enough to have a career/survive until retirement.

Yeah that’s the part I don’t get: The law is literally telling doctors to kill their patients and the doctors are just going along with it? WTF!

No. That’s if he’s Arab. Chinese get interned.

Or if China doesn’t like them either, “returned to the homeland” where they’ll be disappeared forever in one of their, “put them here until trial” black holes where people go in but they don’t come out (without the right bribes/political influence).

Yeah! Deliver Big Ben and maybe a few other famous UK monuments to Washington, DC and we’ll call it even 👍

Well yes: At this juncture in history conservative speech is hate speech, misinformation (and disinformation), and things like AI-generated images of politicians in situations that never happened.

Actual conservative speech like bitching about the national debt or setting themselves up to get flamed with references to A Modest Proposal aren’t getting censored at all.

Some people just don’t like swearing.

To those people I say, “What the fuck‽”

Stealing political yard signs? No.

Marking up political yard signs? Yes.

On my way to vote today I saw a trump sign that had “FELON” and “RAPIST” graffitied on it. That’s a much clearer message than if there were no sign there.

It was quite respectful, actually… It still very clearly said, “Trump/Vance” it was just given some flair and it wasn’t even untrue 👍

Subtract the number of scammed people from that total and you’ll have your answer 👍

Age discrimination is bad.

Software Patent Attorney

Just build your own keyboard. That’s what I did (and it turned out fantastic) 🤷

Mice are much easier to deal with since there’s 500 million of them to choose from. Just pick a generic, no-name brand that doesn’t need drivers and you’re all set.

Aside: Building a keyboard isn’t rocket science. It’s just a bit tedious (buy a kit). Unless you invent your own 3D printable keyboard switch and stabilizers from scratch then design an analog circuit board to work with them (also from scratch). Then it’s a bit more like rocket science 🤣

It’s really hard to time it just right but the theme to Jeopardy 👍

Get it wrong and it’ll really surprise you!

I just shake the water off like a dog.

Just your average dead whale beheading to bring home the trophy. Nothing special!

Conservatives: This is how the zombie apocalypse starts… With one person refusing to let medical professionals know about their problem.

I’d use a very real scenario of immigrants and “merely visiting” foreigners who get sick spreading any given disease (e.g. How do you think we ended up with Zika in Florida?) but I know conservatives aren’t interested in reality. Even JD Vance knows that in order to get conservatives attention you need to promote fiction.

The correct response is for thousands of people to respond on Xitter with, “And no one is even trying to assassinate Musk 🤔”

As expected, nobody cares about “reader mode”. Only once in my life has it ever come in handy… It was a website that was so badly designed I swore never to go back to it ever again.

I forget what it was but apparently I wasn’t the only one and thus, it must’ve died a fast death as I haven’t seen it ever again (otherwise I’d remember).

Basically, any website that gets users so frustrated that they resort to reader/simplified mode isn’t going to last very long. If I had my way I would change the messages:

“This website appears to be total shit. Do you want Firefox to try to fix it so your eyes don’t bleed trying to get through it?”

I want an extension that does this, actually! It doesn’t need to actually modify the page. Just give me a virtual assistant to comiserate with…

“The people who made this website should have their browser’s back button removed entirely as punishment for erecting this horror!”

Don’t ever change, Catholic Church. More and more people are starting to catch on. In 100 years there might not be a Catholic Church anymore and the world will be better for it.

This headline could’ve appeared every month for the past 2000 years. It’s just that only in modern times are priests and pastors facing actual consequences.

Clearly the company wants the employees to bring their sick children into the office. Bring the sniffling, sneezing, coughing, wipe-their-snot-on-everything child right into the boss’s office and proudly proclaim your support of the sick leave policy!

“Give my boss a hug, sweetheart!”