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To be clear on this, I AM an urban core dweller, and I LOVE it. I am never more than 15 minutes walk from a grocery store, and significant cultural events are right on my doorstep. But there are downsides, and I understand why it is not everyone’s cup of tea.
Hate people? sucks for you, your only refuge will be your apartment. Clean freak? get used to some grunge, because there is oderous shit everywhere. Need to get to more sparsely populated areas? Expect to spend double the time on the road using transit, or pay through the nose to keep a garage with a car you barely use otherwise.
Unfortunately, I say this as a train lover. They require a lot more infrastructure than planes and will always be at a disadvantage because of that. You can set up an airport pretty much anywhere and make it reachable by pretty much anyone. Whereas with the train, you need a dedicated line from point to point that you will commit to maintaining through hell and high water.
There’s also the problem that in many countries, we are deliberately neglecting our train infrastructure and not investing in high speed alternatives that could compete with an airline over shorter distances.
All of these factors combine to make individual trips less efficient over train. I had to cross the United States this week. To do so by train would have taken me 4 days. Doing so by plane took me 6 hours. Nobody would choose a 4-day trip over a 6-hour one unless their goal is to look out the window a lot. Which is perfectly valid. But most people don’t look at traveling itself as the experience. And in this case, I had a particular event that I had to attend.