Did your dog eat them? That’s typically when I say aglet, anyway.

I’d rank French toast below a good waffle, but I would still not pass it up

Just leave! Hit da bricks! Who cares what you need to leave behind, emigrating is super easy anyway. Just decide to go, every country in the world would love to have another American within their borders.

Oh no, of course he can’t. There’s decorum and precedent to consider! Best to give him free reign to do whatever the fuck he wants without fear of consequence or repercussion.

Every single person who voted for trump because of the economy is an idiot and a monster. Across the board.

I hope your doctor fires you as a patient over this comment.

People are fucking stupid, and if the few people they look up to say masks are bad then that’s just how it is, regardless of facts or logic.

If I impress people enough they might be willing to give me the D

Does my doctor who stopped in the middle of an appointment, looked at me, and said “you know you’re neurodivergent, right?” count?

I wish I was happy. Not even all of the time, just some?

Been replaying re4, stuck at the fight against ramon. Also playing lots of Hades 2, I’m up to six fear now.

I’ve lost hope that things will ever get better. This is it, this is all life has to offer. If you don’t like it, well, suck it up.

Ken Paxton is a ghoul

Hunters can go fox themselves

Shortly after I started transitioning i had to use the bathroom and someone saw me go in. They waited outside for me to leave and glared at me while I did.

My manager later pulled me aside to apologize for the incident and assure me it wouldn’t happen again, the person had been talked to. I didn’t realize how it could have been even more mortifying until then.

I don’t expect to be alive by that point

Never needing to work again and actually having energy to do things would probably do the trick.

It was a beanie and also quite some time ago. I don’t really like to wear hats.

The lion, king of all the animals, holds a meeting for all the animals and everyone shows up but one. Who’s missing?

The giraffe! They’re still in the refrigerator.