I don’t feel some gender either, but my agab has always felt off, like ill-fitting clothes. Also due to the cultural/societal expectations and limitations instilled during upbringing, which made me further reject the idea of ‘being’ my agab.

I’ve come to think that if I had been assigned the opposite gender, maybe I would have felt it equally ill-fitting.

A few years ago I came across the concept of agender and it resonated. It took off pressure of the need for there to be something, where there is nothing, and it’s ok.

In general, we’re not taught early enough, if at all, to question both what we ‘perceive’ and the mental blabbering that makes up stories about it.

I had added it as pfp but then read someone saying smth about how “bad” handmade art is better, I liked the idea to try and make a silly drawing myself, then never got around to it.

So you could say the difference…

Is subtle.

I’ll see myself out.

Ooh that’s an easy one, it’s from this comment, credits to OP.

I’ve seen variations of it around here in other comments too, but this was the first one I saw and it cracked me up, so I took it. I’m some bigot’s worst nightmare

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Thank you, it’s easy to see it when it happens to me but if I’m the one leaving things hanging I feel like either a missed opportunity or that I’m somewhat being rude (I’m not, and most likely the other party didn’t think nothing of it. I’m working on my sometimes distorted inner narrative).

This is a good insight; sometimes I feel like I have to know stuff to make a meaningful contribution, when maybe just cheering on can be enough.

To prove the is no god.

Checkmate, theists.

Met online through a hobby-oriented platform (not social media, not dating sites). Neither of us where actively looking for a partner at that time, so there was no pressure to perform, no expectations, everything just flowed (and if it hadn’t, that would’ve been OK too, at least at that point hehe). It took a bit over a year of one thing leading to another.

I’ve read some advice here that sort of matches that pattern, and by personal experience I’d say it works.

Keeping oneself grounded in reality is hard, painful, and requires a constant effort.

I’m trying to learn that the consequences of dissociating are actually worse for my mental health than what I’m theoretically trying to avoid. My struggles may not be ambassador-level, but I think it applies to most of the human condition.

I find it hard to keep a conversation going, maybe lack of skill on my part but usually idk what to reply and hit a dead end. So most of the time I just upvote in appreciation for taking the time to respond.

Didn’t expect such depth put in such an approachable way. It’s the kind of message I need rn. Thanks for sharing, OP!

Cool! Reminds me of a fennel bulb.

Thank you, this truly means a lot.

I usually feel like I have nothing useful to contribute, that my takes are uninteresting and unoriginal, and that no none cares what I think. I start a comment and delete before sending bc… what’s the point?

I can’t say I’m gender apathetic bc I’m averse to my agab, but sometimes I have thoughts of gender abolitionism.

Edit: This reply was for the comment below. Excuse my sausage fingers.

On the opposite side you have grammatically gendered languages where even inanimate objects are a she or a he and it’s nearly impossible to escape being called one or the other without nothing beyond the binary.

Yeah it’s a subtle setting in our chat. One has to kinda go and look for it specifically. Almost no one has filled it in, and a handful of funny people entered jokes (all seem lighthearted, nothing to call HR abt, but still).

My preferred pronouns are visible on our internal chat platform. In 3+ years only one person has noticed and used them.

One time I asked someone to use them (I had decided that I was going to start asking for it to everyone but then I backed out so as to not inconvenience people with my stuff). I’d want to say idc, since at work my gender (or lack of it) is irrelevant, but I’m contradictory like that.