Like āsparkly cisā (my own term?) or something like that? At first, I started using the pronouns he/him. Then, when I realized that I actually donāt identify as a man and that it didnāt feel right, I started switching to they/them, as I felt like neither a man nor a woman and didnāt feel strongly about gender either way.
Well, Iām fully aware that whatās in oneās pants is NOT equivalent to their gender, but the thing is: I donāt really want a penis. I donāt want both. I really want neither, maybe just a hole, but the vagina I have is fine to me because itās not a penis.
Iām AFAB and identify with feminine terms and neutral terms, like the pronouns she/they. If Iām dating someone, I want to be referred to as āpartnerā or āgirlfriendā but not āboyfriendā. Not āmanā, ādudeā, or ābroā, though I also see those as gender-neutral, so Iām more okay with those than āboyfriendā.
āHomieā or āfriendā is my favorite, though. I donāt even mind just āpersonā, but I prefer homie or friend like I said.
I feel impostor syndrome or whatever though and it feels like Iām just a cis woman with extra steps or āspicy/sparkly cisā.
You seem to not identify strongly with āmanā or āwomanā which seems pretty nonbinary to me imo. If you feel that nonbinary is a good description of your gender, use it. Your gender does not need to be earned or proven.
Your gender does not need to be earned or proven.
Girl, I wish I had read this 6-7 years ago. Your gender should serve you and make you feel better, not be a constant source of anguish.
You might want to look into Agender. It is much of what I feel about my gender most of the time. I view the F on gender markers for my self to be a āfuck it sureā, rather than the definitive gender of my self.
That sounds like agender to me, friend
Thanks! Looking into it, it sounds like me!
@SonofaBixcuit you can call yourself cis or nonbinary or both or neither
they are all labels, no more or less
@SonofaBixcuit these doubts are common, a way that external transphobia āgets into your headā š£
How do you feel about other people whose identities are nuanced and outside the male/female binary? Are you treating yourself with anything like the grace you would extend to a friend or stranger?
Love and strength.
idk, this sounds pretty outside the binary to me.
re: the pants paragraph: are you aware of genital nullification surgery?
Nobody is really anything except the matter and energy that make them up. Labels are tools humans use to try to categorize things and make meaning when there is none.
Given that you arenāt particularly drawn to most gendered terms, specifically ones that arenāt gender-neutral enough, consider exploring the label āagenderā for yourself. You could try it on and see what fits.
Sometimes a more blanket term like āqueerā feels better to people.
A note that we canāt wrap our entire being into a single word; thereās too much of it to fit, and weāre bound to over-pour the container. It can be more helpful to consider them as tags or attributes, not containers.









