I’ve applied for jobs a few times and this has always been a problem. Now that I’ve been out of college for a while it’s even more of a problem. I don’t have anyone from college that would even remember me. I can’t use my current coworkers because I don’t want my current employer to know I’m leaving until I have a new job lined up. I don’t keep in touch with old coworkers. I don’t do anything outside of work as far as volunteering or anything. I know I’m not supposed to use friends or family. Who is even left after that? The only people I have the contact info for are friends, family, and my current boss.
Use your friends and family. Tell them you’re doing so and instruct them to lie for you.
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I guess that’ll have to do. It just feels bad that I have to start off what I’m hoping to be a good job by lieing. Luckilly my mom remaried so most of my sibblings have different last names than me. I also have one friend who was technically my coworker at my last job. Sure we were in completely different departments but we still worked for the same company.
My buddy and I have had a long-standing agreement to be each others’ occupational references for job applications. When either of us is filling out an application that requires a reference, we give the other a head’s up e-mail that includes the dates we supposedly worked there and how to answer any specific questions that might come up. I even made a fake letterhead and have a box of fancy paper to use if one of us needs an actual letter of recommendation (that’s only ever come up once in the last 10 years).
These employers would throw your app straight into the bin if you asked them for employee references, so fuck 'em.
There are four questions you’re going to get from everyone who bothers to call (which won’t be a lot of people, tbh). “What was their hire date?”, “What was their last date of work?”, “Are they eligible for rehire?”, and “What was their final salary/pay rate?”. Make a post-it note for your reference-buddy with what you want them to tell a caller for those questions (never say “No” to “eligible to rehire”). If the caller asks anything else, the answer is “I’m sorry, our HR policy does not allow us to answer that question.”
This is pretty much the only actual option. I’m sure there’s a more “ethical” option but I’ll be fucked if I can think of one.
While this initially sounds a bit ‘wrong’ I realised that I’ve been asked to be a fake reference before. So it’s actually a part of the norm.
The problem with this is if you have parents who solemnly believe honesty is best policy. My parents might lie about my issues by way of omission, to try to paint me in a good light but they sure as hell won’t lie that they are my parents.
I used people who have only seen me at my best, but aren’t relatives.
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volunteer leaders from places I love to volunteer. If I love volunteering there I don’t usually see it as a job, so I’ll always be at my enthusiastic passionate best.
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take a week’s work experience somewhere and use them as a reference (or just apply at the place you volunteered if you liked it, a week is enough to give a good impression better than any reference) - a week is usually long enough to give you a reference, but short enough that it’s still a novel experience so you don’t have time to show your worst or how quickly you burn out.
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my previous boss was great for use as a reference as he’s honest, but he has a way of drastically downplaying everyone’s bad qualities to other people (if there were no good qualities, he would’ve fired you anyway), while at the same time managing to make you feel bad for having those same qualities.
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I know it’s a bit late for that, but adding people proactively just in case I need them to vouch for me later is the #1 reason I even have a LinkedIn account.
That’s weird, it probably depends on the field you’re in, but I’ve never been asked for references and I had many interviews…
What field are you in that they’ve never asked for references? I’ve had to provide references for a range of jobs, from warehouse assembly line work to medical research
I’m in software and I’ve never been asked
Don’t know you, but you’re a tireless worker who goes as above and beyond. You’ve always been there when needed whether it was helping me understand that new online ordering stuff with COVID or just mowing my lawn when you were younger. I would definitely love to have someone like you as an employee. Send them my way
Are there any charitable volunteer opportunities near you?
My city isn’t teribly big so there isn’t much. I also work nights currently so the bigger issue is that most opporitunities don’t line up with my sleep schedule.
Why don’t you keep in touch with old coworkers that you get along with?
Look them up on LinkedIn and talk to them occasionally, not just when you need something. Just start doing that today.
Don’t try to use a lie because then you’ll have to cover it up another lie, and sooner or later you’re going to lose track.
What kind of employer asks for references these days? Such an inadequate and dated concept.
I work for a fairly big university and we still ask (or at least we did pre-COVID, when I handled some recruitment stuff). And it has to be, like… two references from two different positions (or classes or whatever)? Again, unless something changed.
References are hard as shit to get ahold of, too. I could pay off all my debts if I had a nickel for every time I had to get recruitment to nab us more refs.
Here In Australia many still do.
We have a very social culture, so many people still believe the best way to guage someone’s personality and work ethic is to talk to those who are familiar but not too close.
Of course the bigger the company the less likely they are to actually call those references - many just like seeing them on the page, sort of a “does he have non-famillial references? Yes, that’s a checkbox ticked ☑”
Tell us that you haven’t looked for work recently without blah blah…
Maybe you are overestimating how big of a deal letting your current boss know that you are job searching really is. I’ve used a recruiting agency multiple times that requires references from two current supervisors. It always feels awkward making that ask, but it has never been the end of the world. If you are respectful and professional about it, they should be too. You can always find a way to downplay it or spin it if you need to.
That being said, of course there are petty and belligerent bosses out there. Just take a minute and consider whether that is truly the case for you or if this would just cause the normal level of awkwardness/friction that would be expected in this situation.
