I don’t know how you managed to pull yourself out of that funk with that kind of partner. Being constantly exposed to that kind of negativity makes it infinitely harder. Kudos.
I mean realistically I wanted to change. And despite our issues, they were extremely supportive, even if they didn’t want to change, too. Then I started getting frustrated when they didn’t, or expected me to be who I was; then we started fighting, then I started changing without them, and slowly the relationship crumbled. It’s like I grew too big for a box: Slowly I pressed against the walls, started breaking them, and now I just don’t fit anymore. And like, this isn’t a value judgement of them: They don’t want a depressed partner, they want a homebody partner, and I was that at one point. But I can’t be anymore, not just because it’s not me anymore, but also because trying hurts. Trying isn’t just changing myself, it’s reliving all the reasons I was a homebody.
Good on you for having an empathetic understanding of the situation - for yourself and for them. I can tell you really did grow a lot. Good on ya! Keep up the growth
I don’t know how you managed to pull yourself out of that funk with that kind of partner. Being constantly exposed to that kind of negativity makes it infinitely harder. Kudos.
I mean realistically I wanted to change. And despite our issues, they were extremely supportive, even if they didn’t want to change, too. Then I started getting frustrated when they didn’t, or expected me to be who I was; then we started fighting, then I started changing without them, and slowly the relationship crumbled. It’s like I grew too big for a box: Slowly I pressed against the walls, started breaking them, and now I just don’t fit anymore. And like, this isn’t a value judgement of them: They don’t want a depressed partner, they want a homebody partner, and I was that at one point. But I can’t be anymore, not just because it’s not me anymore, but also because trying hurts. Trying isn’t just changing myself, it’s reliving all the reasons I was a homebody.
Good on you for having an empathetic understanding of the situation - for yourself and for them. I can tell you really did grow a lot. Good on ya! Keep up the growth