I had a boss - he was one of those manic genius people who can do twice as much as others, he was in before us, left after us, did way more than anyone ought to. And when he went home still didn’t stop, was always learning to play guitar or to cook, learning a language, doing marathon training, I don’t think he slept much. He would also keep giving you more work until you said no - he literally said “you have to tell me when it’s too much, don’t say yes if you cannot handle it.” Everyone else seemed to take it like a challenge, burned out, we had turnover. I took him at his word, did what I could do well, took my PTO, one late day a week, otherwise left on time.

Always he rated me highly in reviews for “managing work-life balance.” He didn’t really expect everyone to be like him, and his work habits cost him his a marriage, nobody SHOULD work like that even if they can, it’s not a human pace. We need time to do nothing, unstructured time.

My kids understand when I have a busy month, I almost always come home and make supper and hang out, so when I can’t they know it’s not an ongoing situation.

But really even if you don’t have kids, don’t make work your life.