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FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca to Shitty Ask Lemmy@lemmy.ml · 1 day ago

How should I avoid getting caught?

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How should I avoid getting caught?

FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca to Shitty Ask Lemmy@lemmy.ml · 1 day ago
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  • MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de
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    7 hours ago

    Only commit crimes where the worst case scenario is failure, but prison, torture or death are acceptable personal outcomes. When all that matters is that they can’t undo what you’ve done, getting “caught” is just a formality.

  • SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca
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    10 hours ago

    get facial reconstruction surgery in Switzerland. Also, fresh cheese.

  • Krudler@lemmy.world
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    12 hours ago

    Step 1: Don’t

  • folaht@lemmy.ml
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    15 hours ago

    Keep your door locked or hang out a sign that says “no girls allowed” or “please knock first”.

  • chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    20 hours ago

    Don’t be the slowest person running from the bear

  • onlooker@lemmy.ml
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    20 hours ago

    By not posting on a public forum, criminal!

  • TribblesBestFriend@startrek.website
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    1 day ago

    Be an American multinational company valued at 500 millions or more

  • TootSweet@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Image of Kermit the frog behind bars captioned "if you can't do the time, then don't 'kermit' the crime."

    • ☂️-@lemmy.ml
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      11 hours ago

      unless you are a filthy rich pedophile.

      in which case carry on no one is gonna catch you.

  • showmeyourkizinti@startrek.website
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    24 hours ago

    First of all stay calm. And listen very carefully to this advice never and I mean never commit two different crimes at the same time m.

  • PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S [he/him]@anarchist.nexus
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    1 day ago

    First you define what “getting caught” means. Then, you just do only things that are not described as “getting caught”. So easy!

  • Mpatch@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Don’t do the thing. Or just wear a high vis and carry a Clip board m, click pen. A lanyard, hard hat. No one ever asks some one about nothing in high vis. Unless they ask you " why are you only wearing high vis" and “adam where are your pants?” . That’s what the hard hat is there to solve.

  • toomanypancakes@piefed.world
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    1 day ago

    Just get good

  • TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Nahhh

  • LadyMeow@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 day ago

    deleted by creator

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