Pastor Mark Burns, the president’s informal “spiritual advisor,” wants to make one thing very clear about the extremely tall gold statue of Donald Trump that was officially dedicated last week in Doral, Miami. “Let me be clear: this is not a golden calf. We worship the Lord Jesus Christ and Him alone,” he wrote on Twitter.
He’s technically right, just as Rene Magritte was technically right that his painting of a pipe was not actually a pipe. In the most literal sense, the statue of Trump, which is named “Don Colossus” is not a golden calf.
Despite the president calling it “The Real Deal - GOLD,” on Truth Social, the statue is not made of gold. Unlike the golden calf, which was made from melting the jewelry of the Egyptians, the Trump statue is not actually made of solid gold. “Don Colossus” is cast in bronze and covered in gold leaf, making it much, much less valuable. It is also obviously not a calf, as calves are baby cows, and the statue is certainly not a baby cow.
of natural causes too. once your fatal bullet poisoning reachees the butthole they have to replace your legs with wheels and your arms with those extendo boxing gloves or else we wouldn’t have enough whimsical things to laugh at in the world (like when’s the last time you saw a clown in a bathtub being pulled down the river by a flock of geese).