Ikr? I have to use YouTube a specific way. I’ll go to a channel and go to the tab that just lists the videos chronologically. I’ll go back there if I want a second video. The only way I find new creators I enjoy watching is through recommendation/someone sending a link to a group chat. Shame really, I bet there’s plenty of content out there that I’d enjoy, but I can’t handle the algorithm.

I think the Facebook thing is because it was more or less the first social media that pretty much everyone was on. Everything before was a little more niche. But back in, like, 2010, it felt like you were missing out if you weren’t on FB. At least that’s my experience/guess (I’m 27 and in middle Europe).

Lemmy is the only one I’ll log onto and the only one I have as an app.

Sometimes though, I’ll miss a super specific community from the place spez ruined, and scroll through it in DuckDuckGo browser.

Anything that has an intransparent, engagement driving, ad laden algorithm that determines what you do and don’t see is thoroughly unappealing to me. At least now that I’m a little more tech savvy and anti-corporate.

I guess I do technically have a Facebook account still because I don’t remember the password of either that account or the associated email address. I used that for local flea market and food sharing groups up until maybe 6 years ago.

Do you view him differently now that you know this stuff about him? How, if at all, do you think your relationship might change?

For me personally, having to reboot is part of why I like my dual boot. I have adhd, so it’s good to keep gaming entirely separate from anything productive.

I don’t really get how hurting an animal and then NOT eating it, just for fun, is better than killing for food

Reminds me of one of mine. In the middle of my lesson, my instrument teacher paused to ask me some questions: can you tie your shoes without looking? Do you have trouble unlocking your door in the dark? Etc. Turns out I have little to no muscle memory lol.

Very true, even in a less life/death situation. Example, a piercing hurts much much more than stubbing your toe, but people, myself included, keep coming back for more of them.

It’s a good, important step that you know this about yourself. But yeah, for both of your long term happiness, as well as for your friendship, it’ll be very important to talk about the kind of relationship you have. Even if it’s super tough and mightn’t have the outcome you’d like. But the resentment it would inevitably breed if you couldn’t date because you don’t know where you stand with your friend wouldn’t be healthy for your friendship. Maybe it’s easier to not do it all at once?

Either way, your situation sounds tough. Best of luck to the both of you!

Bit of a different take from many of the other comments.

Relationships don’t have to be the way they are traditionally. You don’t have to be monogamous. You can be in two relationships, one of which is romantic, one of which is a strong friendship with sexual aspects. It’d be under the polyamory umbrella. There’s plenty of potential partners out there who are ok with or would even want this kind of a constellation.

The very important caveat though: even more so than in any other kind of close relationship, this requires a LOT of communication. You need to clarify with your best friend what kind of a relationship it is that you have. You don’t have to label it, but you have to figure out together what you want from each other and what your boundaries are. The latter includes what kind of relationships you’re ok with the other one having with someone else. Then, when you date someone else, you have to have the same conversations and be open about your other relationship(s). I’d be upfront about the latter, the former can happen over time.

If none of this sounds like something you’d want, that’s of course perfectly valid. The point stands though that you need to clarify with each other what you want from your relationship and what your boundaries and needs are. This might mean having to change your relationship dynamic.

Some context: my best friend and I are super close and find each other sexually attractive, but aren’t romantically interested in each other. We’ve talked about that and keep checking in. We’ve done some second base things and cuddled. I now have a partner that’s decidedly monogamous. Now, I might still lightly cuddle with my best friend, but we wouldn’t kiss anymore. Those are all boundaries that had to be talked through.

Depending on how much you hate hair that’s only half dry, towelling the shit out of it or only using the hair dryer for a shorter time. Then air dry. I do the latter over night so I don’t notice the wetness, keeping a towelly bonnet on. Also, the dryer works better if you brush your hair the whole time while holding it into the air stream.

This is a twofold problem. One part is that your ethical beliefs aren’t compatible, one is his disregard for your needs.

Whether you can live with the first one, only you can tell. It’s valid to want to date someone who holds the same beliefs as you, and it’s valid to be ok with some ethical differences. The latter of course comes with some logistical difficulties that can be a lot to handle, maybe even too much.

The second isn’t something that’s healthy for you or the relationship. You’ll have to talk about that. If he can’t respect your needs, that’s a pretty fundamental incompatibility.

I’m not neurotypical at all, you can’t tell with a lot of us if you don’t talk to us

Omg very similar here! My best friend, who lives oversees now, is coming to visit for 3 weeks. It’s been about 2 years since I’ve seen him. If I didn’t know him, I wouldn’t think it possible for another human to understand me on such a fundamental and intuitive level as he does. I’m stoked!

Mostly things that fall under the category of women not being able to be a threat/dangerous. Especially white women, which im usually read as.

This includes everything from talking to children in public to actual minor crimes like shoplifting.

ETA: this is in fact a prime example of how sexism is mean to everyone. Women are not dangerous because they’re weak, men are dangerous because they’re strong. Neither is generally true.

My mum at least asked ‘do you learn about this stuff in school?’, to which i awkwardly said yeah. We did get some pretty good classes on bodies, the biology of reproduction, and contraception. I even remember having a test on contraceptives in biology class.

Unfortunately, it was very cis-het only. I had to figure out by myself that I should be using protection during sex even if both participants had a vulva.

As for drugs, it never occurred to my mum that anything other than alcohol and nicotine could be relevant to us. She did well on keeping me from smoking just by telling me about her experience as a smoker and how hard it was to quit. I kept my drinking and weed smoking from her pretty well because even a mention would make her angry. To be fair, as an adult I understand she had some trauma from her mum being an alcoholic.

I’m not even in tech. I teach maths at night school to support myself while doing my masters. Somehow I’ve become the ‘computer guy’ at my job. All the teachers and even office staff ask me to explain software to them that I myself have never even used. I need to learn to say no.

To add: drink water throughout the day in general. Especially where tap water is safe to drink. You’re going to pass up the opportunity to improve your health and daily wellbeing, easily and for free? WHY?

Random side note. I actually prefer room temperature water. Sensitive teeth. And i try to keep my backpack as light, so it’s a one layer water bottle for me.

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My room is a nightmare of a mess and I’m not a drug dealer. We exist

Most of my brains bandwidth is used up by remembering things like that my passport is in that canvas bag half under my bed and that my birth certificate is in a specific stack of paper at my mums house in my former room. So yes, let’s!