Recently, my life feels like a blur, like I dont really remember what happened even in the past 2 weeks, and this has cause me some anxiety.
I just want to know if this is what everyone’s memory is like.
How much of your life do you remember, like do you only remember major events in your life, or do you remember like what you have been doing for the past 2 weeks.
What I mean is like, if someone asked you “So, what have you been last week”
You can come up with an answer like:
“So I watched [X] movie on Netflix on Monday, went to a nearby park on Tuesday, ate at [X] restaurant on Wednesday, found a new interesting Youtube Channel to watch on Thursday, petted a friendly neighborhood cat on Friday…” etc…
And like you can still remember what happened that week the following Monday.
Like obviously most people wouldn’t remember what they ate every meal, but like just one major event that happened each day.
I feel like I don’t remember shit. Not a single event.
I remember extremely accurately almost every significant detail from my life from a very early child. Everything thats ever happened to me of significance I remember in almost completely as if it just happened. I can’t remember every conversation word for word, but I can remember their general gist and key snippits of the conversation. Even the super emotional high energy ones don’t blur much.
I can keep track of every single one of my possessions and know exactly where they are. I spent much of my life learning and internalizing large amounts of knowledge with relative ease. Why yes I do have a STEM background how did you guess?
It gets incredibly exhausting keeping track of so many minute details, knowing so many general concepts and facts spread across most aspects of human knowledge. Having decades worth of old memories resurface every day as if they had just happened with the same emotional weight.
My ability to remember reserves a lot of space in my neural network. My mind feels taxed and spent in a way thats hard to explain. Every step of my existance from childhood to now a constant feeling of ever present continuity. I can ‘feel’ how the present iteration of my experience is intrinsically connected to everything I experienced the moment before.
Cannabis helps greatly with forgetting and getting into a meditative mode of being in the moment. Its so good to just be, pure meditative blissful vibing with here and now.