"Dear pesky plumbers,

The koopalings and I, have relentlessly bombed the Mushroom Kingdom. The princess is now a permanent guest, at one of our 700 concentration camps.

We dare you to find her, if you can. We also are blocking the Strait of Mushroom, as a response to you also blocking the Strait. You have 48 hours from now to make a deal, or we will eradicate your nation…maybe. I’m just sort of saying words now, also I declare victory.

I didn’t say it, I declared it! This means it’s already happened.

— Bowser"