I’m a bisexual black guy. All of the slurs lol
Create a venn diagram and check it all off
It’s a circle
The hateful circle
It sucks that we don’t get to re-roll our character before starting the game.
And as someone who does not believe that free will exists, I think the only thing anyone has ever done wrong is being born to the wrong parents.
Hrm, your first sentence is a little odd there. It seems to insinuate that there’s a desirable ‘roll’ and not one that we learn to love and embrace (as a form of self-actualization). Even though I was born generally disadvantaged that doesn’t mean I’d want to change the person I am since it’s all a part of me.
As someone that’s disabled and suffers from severe chronic pain, that’s complete horseshit. I want my reroll!
I think there’s a difference between a disability and your race and sexual orientation.
Ah yeah, I didn’t realize you specifically meant those two things.
Judging from the voting, I think it might have confused a lot of people.
What I was saying was this:
Literally everything about your life was determined at your birth. If your mother drank, was living in poverty, was being abused in a relationship, and had adequate nutrition and medical care has a huge effect on your earliest formative development. There’s epigeneticic effects of malnutrition of the pregnant mother that last for two generations. You will have a vastly higher probability of drug and alcohol abuse, you are less likely to have an advanced career, you are more likely to be arrested, and the list goes on. All of those things are also influenced by the genes you inherited, some of which influenced your mom’s behaviors that affected you as you were developing. Genes of course influence an incredible amount of what makes you you. They affect your propensity for violence or for pro-social behaviors. They affect how you respond to people, romantically and physically.
And then there’s the environment you grew up in, which again is a direct consequence of where you were born. Was it in a community of poverty and crime? Were there other kids your own age and safe environments for play? Did they have good schools, or schools at all? Are predatory animals that attack and kill children a large concern? Did you grow up in Texas honor culture where you can’t be gay and if someone calls you gay, you have to fight them to prove you’re not? Did you grow up a woman in a radically religious society?
It has nothing to do with loving ourselves, for Christ’s sake. It was an attempt at wry humor that was effectively saying that it would have been nicer to be born to Bill Gates than to a single mother in a trailer park. I worked for LGBT rights since ACT UP, and still stayed in the closet for more than a decade afterwards. I’ve been bashed to the point of hospitalization. I constantly advise LGBT kids who come looking for advice to accept themselves and to take their current living situation into account when coming out.
I don’t mean this in the way it’s normally used, but I’m sorry if you or anyone were offended by what I said. I think that even if you’re not a believer in biological determinism, we can agree that, given the circumstances of our genetic and social histories, there are things outside of our control that could have gone better.
Why the fuck? No man im not ashamed or sorry for who I am.
It literally has nothing to do with being ashamed about who you are. You should read my more complete explanation to the other person.
Wasn’t said to me personally, but when my mom was pregnant with my younger sibling, she was at church and two old ladies were walking within earshot behind her. They said she should get an abortion because “what if its defective?” I was my moms only child at the time.
I’m just legally blind in my right eye and visually impaired in my left. And I was 4 fucking years old.
After my mom gave birth to my youngest (mixed) sibling, one of the old guys at our church asked how she gave birth to an n word.
How very Christian of them… sickening 🤢
N-word lover for having a lot of black friends. Along with every other description you could think of surrounding that.
Came here to say this. The term was meant as an insult although it really isn’t when you think about it.
Yeah, it’s wild.
I’m a white heterosexual guy, Grew up in New Zealand through the 80’s and 90’s - long hair on guys was not uncommon even in small town NZ, and I rocked full head of hair 1/2 way down my back…
I moved to northern England in 2000, I think I heard all the fag/gay/poofter… terms thrown at me, more often than not with vitriol.
Ps I finally cut it all off last year after having long hair for around 35 years
As a born and bred Geordie, I apologise on behalf of the northerners. The early 2000s were a pretty shit time around those parts for intolerance. I used to dress “alternatively”, black fingernails, spikey died hair etc. And would get similar slurs thrown my way despite being heterosexual. I no longer live in Newcastle, but it seems a LOT better these days when I visit.
Wasn’t quite Geordie land, I was based in Darlo / Middlesbrough area. Probably not too different.
Oof! Darlington, or Mordor, as I used to call it, was measurably worse than Newcastle for this! I lived in Ferryhill for a couple of years, so I’m familiar with that area. Definitely low on the list of places I’d recommend moving to in the UK!
Having met one or two people from New Zealand, you guys strike me as a tough and hardy bunch. If anyone could survive there, yous would have a good shot!
Ferryhill For the first 6 months I was staying in Eppleby, well done if you can place that dot on the map. I must say that a village that small felt very closed off and it wasn’t until moving into Darlo that I felt that I meet ‘real’ people.
Got to admit, I had to check the map for Eppleby! It looks tiny, I can imagine that feeling very isolating! I’m still not sure I could refer to the residents of Darlo as “real” people, j/k 😆 I hope your subsequent years in the UK have been more pleasant :)
Having grown up where David Duke also lives, ambiguously failing the paper bag test, and coming of age during 9/11, I encountered a wide variety of racial insults. Many of them involved the n-word.
The most memorable one for me happened after the orator learned that I was neither black, Arabic, Hispanic, Italian, nor Asian.
“Oh you’re Hawaiian? I heard you Island N-words don’t even sing the National Anthem.”
The other aggressors as well as my friends burst into laughter at how ridiculously stupid his statement sounded. Even his buddy was like, “Hawaii is a state you fucking idiot.”
The encounter ended and we all moved on but I still laugh when it pops into my head
Woah.I had never heard of this.
Yep the world is all kinds of fucked up haha. But you do what you can with what you’ve got I guess
Not really something most people are going to call a slur, but asexuality is hugely misunderstood it seems and it doesn’t help to be called things like a “waste of flesh” or “fair game” by people whose minds live chronically in the gutter.
why do people hate asexuality they aren’t hurting anyone
Because your deviance threatens my… Idk. My Monday night football or something
The biggest thing is it’s a huge source of incompatibility. Most people can either be categorized into two groups, those who can’t imagine themselves in bed and those who can’t imagine themselves not in bed. If you’re asexual, that means you’re not turned on by anything which would make you say yes to the bed thing, which means, according to non-asexuals, that the other person is left hanging. That’s a part of the first insult though not the whole story, and some often have argued it ruins the point of a relationship.
This leads to a few misconceptions, some which were too silly to mention such as asexuals not being of any gender (misunderstanding that asexuality here is not in the sense of having no gender like with sponges). Asexuality is a spectrum and can be categorized based on certain characteristics, for example libidoist asexuals refer to those with fetishes (like me) while non-libidoist asexuals are those with no feeling whatsoever, or another categorization is whether they are “averse” (which means they actively get discomfort from physical thoughts) or non-averse (which means they’re indifferent, again this describes me). I am somewhere on the spectrum where I could theoretically get in bed with someone but I would both not feel anything as well as need guidance on what to say and do because it doesn’t come naturally to me, though I also would prefer not to have those moments in bed. Typically my way of pleasuring is the old visiting the batcave.
Add to these the fact that, historically, a lot of people have used asexuality as an excuse to get out of things. If someone has had their physical morality questioned, often they might say “I’m not a _____, I’m, uhm, asexual, yes that’s what I am”. This over time has caused a stigma towards it which gets even worse when you’re like me and find myself in situations where I turn one person down because they go against the precise preferred circumstances but then am discovered mentioning/doing something that “seems” to them as ominously non-asexual (such as me mentioning turn-ons) because, again, they don’t realize it’s a spectrum. It also doesn’t help that people often ask me when I’ll cease to be a maiden, this idea still lingering in peoples’ heads that everyone should marry.
The icing on the cake is what many would call the incel movement. I don’t know what goes on in these peoples’ minds, but from the sound of it, they seem to hold onto the Aristotelian idea that people are, by their nature, entitled to physical intimacy, and that asexuality is an offense to human nature. Every now and then some interactions somewhere remind me that hate of this kind is omnipresent to the point that I can’t give total benefit of the doubt to anyone to not have it in their minds that they’re ready to either confront me about it (or even act upon it) or tease me about it behind my back, such as being chased out of a whole association once over it. I feel like I need to seriously vet potential friends over this, and long exposure has drove the point home for me than natural urges are a liability to society and that, ideally, to be asexual is to be inclinationally above others. Many animals are naturally asexual (in the sense that they don’t get pleasure from the act) and often I fantasize about ourselves in their points of view if they were the intelligent species of Earth.
In my youth asexuality was kind of a gift because while my friends were chasing girls and sex I was doing the things I was actually interested in. Later in life, however, it has turned into a kind of a curse because unlike what everyone used to always tell me; most women actually do like sex and are really bummed out when you don’t. I hate that not being needy in this way is seen as the problem, though I get it.
Same here. I do feel for certain things but nothing I could chase after, so I’m saved a little time each day. If not for another asexual pointing it out, I would’ve never known this to be unusual. Though I wouldn’t mind it and might enjoy certain aspects, I would be completely happy without any physical connection throughout my whole life if not for others being unhappy that I’m happy without it.
are the incels the ones that say fair game
All the time.
[._.]
Jesus christ wtf
Wagon burner
I’m indigenous but my younger brother and I used to make fun of it
We now refer to ourselves as ‘Station Wagon Burners’
When I was like 17, someone on the internet called me “pizza face” for absolutely no reason after seeing a picture of me. I had really bad acne at the time, so my face resembled a pepperoni pizza.
It’s funny now when I think about it because it was a great insult. But I have to admit they successfully offended me.
Oh I got called that, too. Similar problems. Being a teenager was rough.
Someone called me a cinnamon toast bitch today on overwatch.
Cinnamon toast is delicious, I’d take that as a compliment
I was referred to as ‘the help’ once. It was said seriously and the person who said it did not see issue with it.
I thought this was an acceptable term?? TIL
There’s a lot of historical and cultural baggage with that term in the US. Specifically concerning its use in reference to house slaves and then freed slaves during and after our reconstruction.
Oh. Not from the US, didn’t know it was that serious. Sorry
Oh no worries! I just assume that everyone else isn’t from the US on Lemmy so I try to contextualize where I can.
I’m from the US and I’ve never heard of it being super problematic, though I’d consider it a bit dehumanizing to refer to anyone by their job rather than by their name.
Let’s see… I’m a heterosexual white male.
I’ve been called fa××ot, ni××er, and (for some insane fucking reason) kike. Now, I only put the ×× in those first two because they tend to get filtered otherwise, this is one of the rare instances when the terms are appropriate to spell out, so anyone trying to jump my ass about that is going to be made fun of.
Now, the fag part, that makes sense because that is something plenty of idiots default to as an insult, and it was most commonly thrown at me when I was bouncing for a few gay bars, so that made sense too.
But the other two? I’m not just Caucasian, I’m white, as in if I get more than five minutes of sun, I turn red. Almost all fucking irish and German ancestry. We pale, pasty fuckers are about as white as it gets. And it wasn’t just once! Two different times the slur has been thrown at me. Neither time was I even around anyone black.
And kike? I didn’t even know what the fuck it meant at the time. There was zero jewish presence in the entire county until maybe fifteen years ago. The nearest synagogue is two hours driving away. So, I assume the idiot didn’t know what it meant, or he was an even bigger idiot than using the term in the first place would indicate.
People are fucking tripping sometimes.
But you know what has never, ever been directed at me? Honky. Nor has mick or kraut, though I’ve never thought of those as a big deal because both sides of my family laugh at them. It’s just fucking weird to me that the n word in specific was thrown my way twice, by two different adults. Like, I know you’re an idiot because the word came out of your mouth, but wtf? Why that one?
FYI two asterisks is the code to bold text so your comment isn’t rendered as you intended. Took me a second to realize what you meant.
Yeah, I noticed that as I was reading your comment lol. Thanks for the catch!
I was called a KKK N-gg-r once, in passing. Still puzzles me
Ig the meaning really is lost on people, they know it’s a way to rile someone up and don’t care why. Ig thats better than being racist lol
The Spanish love to call me a gringo. I mean they aren’t wrong, I’m as white as white gets.
Its nice to see the air taken out of their sails and face turn red when they find out ol gringo here knows their language and can tell when I’m being insulted to my face, then inform them that they can at least insult me in our country’s language like the rest of the racist whitey hating pricks.
“You are just like your mother.”
Yeah I was also told “You are just like PseudoSpock’s mother” once
I’ve recently been called a man whore for the third time in my life which is shocking, thought men weren’t judged for that lol. Funnily twice by men.
I didn’t know anyone would say that with a straight face. It’s so funny to me to just imagine some grown-up playground-bully type call another grown man a “man whore”.
It comes as a mild shock to me, since we have a very strong purity culture here. I still have an unflattering tho undeserved reputation.
Fat dyke. Cracker. Loser. Piece of shit. Failure. Being sexually harassed by guy throwing me against a wall, shove him back, told im a typical snowflake, yet another stupid bitch who can’t take a joke. Get the fuck out , go back where you belong. Was especially fun living in homeless shelter, standing out front smoking a cig, and black guys driving by yelling at me that I’m a gentrifier.
Homeless shelters are fun.
You know, given some of the “jokes” I’ve experienced and witnessed in locker rooms, shoving you against a wall might very well have been in his humor venn diagram
