If you’re lucky, you’ll only get me talking about glacial surficial geology
Stopping back at this thread a moment because I need to tell you my most common thoughts in a moving vehicle are to do with estimating speeds and distances multiple ways and seeing how close I can get while still approximating things like “car length = 2m” or “building height = 2 storeys = 2 x (2.5m + 1m) appearing half the height of that hill over yonder which is approximately three times as far away”. I’ll do this in different ways and see if they all agree. I’ll often get stuck in rabbit holes of things like working out the speed of light in terms of pedestrians or angle of sunlight based on which way the train was going before it annoyingly went round a bend to throw me off.
Wow that sounds so smart. If I’m thinking of anything it’s just replaying social interactions and trying to keep my tics from becoming to apparent until I get home.
But that sounds like a fascinating rabbit hole?
So, my partner would do this. One day, she was driving me home from work, and there was a period of extended silence between us, and we had this conversation:
Her: Whatcha thinkin’ about?
Me: What would the days of the French Revolutionary Calendar be if they were translated into Esperanto?
Her: …
Me: Well, you asked.
No, no, this is interesting. Now I’m actually curious. I don’t know enough about how Esperanto works–aside from knowing it’s supposed to be an ideal language–to have any rational idea.
Exactly why my partner no longer asks me, either.
“I was wondering if people who lose lots of weight and have extra skin could have a kangaroo pouch made with their extra skin. Skin is easy to graft anywhere, so I don’t see why not… Buy would it get saggy and stretch out? Can you get a tendon implanted to keep it tight?”
Road trips are 100% podcasts now.
You could definitely make a marsupial, but I think the challenge would be keeping the pocket dry and fungus-free.
Also making sure there is enough bloodflow to the skin to keep it from just dying off.
Yeah, I figured it would be like obese people that have folds… They clean them, right? Do they get fungus? Is this only for people in desert places? Ooooh… Wait, never thought about sweat before. Hm… OK, so whoever suggested a drain was right. But that’s maybe also a deal breaker from my perspective.
put a drain in the bottom, that way when you shower you can wash the pouch and the water drains out. Towel dry, then throw a couple silica desiccant packs in and you’re good to go.
on my phone, researching
Oh! Let me know if you find anything. Evey time I ask a doctor they get weird about it.
Wait so you had an interesting conversation with a guy, and you spin this as … a win, because you… let down some expectations that you just imagined he had?
You imagine you ‘trapped’ him into this conversation, like the entire thing was a dominance battle?
He… started it.
Maybe dude was just bored, thought you might make a good conversation partner, and this turned out to be correct.
‘Confusion’ that you saw could just be, you know, confusion in the sense of ‘wow i’ve never heard of these specific ideas and concepts before, and am trying to wrap my brain around them’.
Contrary to apparently popular opinion, some guys just want to have a pleasant conversation with a stranger, sometimes.
And those guys, if you just tell them you’re not in the mood for a conversation, they’ll probably understand and respect that.
Is there really no other way to conceive of socializing than as a 24/7 pvp battle of wits and hidden intentions?
She described an interaction that she was present for and how she read it. You were not there, and so instead of reading the actual situation, you are imagining what it could have been like and wondering why she didn’t interpret it in any of those ways. That makes no sense.
they’ll probably understand and respect that."
You’re right, they probably will! Except the small percentage that don’t and become so dangerous that women feel the need to shut any man down, just in case.
Fucking seriously. Internet armchair psychiatrists are nuts.
Correct, I do not trust this person’s ability to accurately read the emotional expressions of other people, given that she entirely invented a motive of the other person, with no provided evidence to justify this other person’s motive as being actually real, and then interpreted/framed the entire story using this as a narrative device.
There are reasons why eyewitness testimony is considered the lowest quality of evidence in both legal and scientific settings: our memories are highly malleable and innacurate, this is affected by many factors.
This person is literally the definition of an unreliable narrator.
Yeah, you know your own inner thoughts, with high to perfect accuracy.
You cannot mind read someone else’s intentions and inner thoughts to anywhere near that same level of accuracy, especially not without explanation.
When you interpret other people’s actions through the lense of what you assume they are thinking, their presumed motivations, you are projecting your expectations onto them, and your experience of them is then molded around this.
Also, entirely random, stranger v stranger, male on female violence, is considerably more rare than say, the likelihood an average person will be injured or die in a car accident, or even die from a serious fall… or entirely random, stranger v stranger, male on male violence.
Male on female violence is a serious problem, but this is between men and women who know each other and are not strangers, who are family members, coworkers, partners, ex-partners, etc.
It’s… a story
She
Did you honest to god look up that person’s Tumblr account to ascertain their gender? That is one hell of a power move
No.
She states, in the OP story, that she imagines this guy had ‘manic pixi dream girl hopes’, in regards to herself.
So, it is probably reasonable to assume that she is ‘she’, or at the very least, is feminine presenting.
You can also just see that the profile pic is low res, but appears to depict a young woman.
Reading comprehension, attention to detail, is all I needed here.
Also, I don’t know how it would be a ‘power move’ to search for publically available information, on the internet, to ascertain more context.
I guess if her account were locked down and I literally hacked into being able to see it, that would be a bit nuts, but… afaik most stuff on tumblr is just public, but I don’t really know, never really used it.
The “manic pixie dream girl” part of the story gives that away.
I would love to listen to any girl go off about any hyper fixation. It’d beat all the conversations I’ve had to endure about fucking tiktok or instagram make up artist drama.
You say that, but if it’s cars or sports oh lord please get me out of here
I admire the passion but ideally from another room
Right? Like, yes please, tell me more about archeology and west mexico
Well, I found my manic pixie dream girl. I would absolutely would love to talk about Teuchitlán.
I think part of the point here is going over people’s heads. She used her hyperfixation to confuse and bore the man to deflect any opportunity for him to flirt with her or ask her out until she was able to leave.
Everyone saying “jokes on you, this bus girl is so my type” would also have their ear talked off and never given the opportunity to ask her out.
Maybe I’m naive, but I want to think that plenty of people actually stoked about that kind of situation would rather ask to elaborate on the West Mexico civilization instead.
I think you’re right, I’m just responding to the people (who are all over this thread) saying that this is part of their manic pixie dream girl fantasy.
Even the op explains that this is a method to avoid the guy trying to pick her up.
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Yeah, like I’d love to talk to this girl about this stuff if she wanted to talk about it, regardless of if she was interested in dating me or not, but that doesn’t seem to be the case here. She was doing it to run him off
Dude, I just want to talk about Mesoamerica. I got Tezcatlipoca set as my profile banner. I’m a fan boy.
Don’t forget about the Tarascan Empire!
How could I forget them! The only Purépecha I ever met loved talking about them.
Also my dream single serving bus friend? I’m not trying to date anyone but I am trying to subscribe for more mesoamerican archeology facts, especially if I can ask clarifying questions along the way.
Here you go: Ancient Americas
This channel has incredible content
You watched Fight Club then?
Whew, but I did have a Chuck Palahniuk phase
Having just been there, it’s very much not ignored by the tourists. Yes, me too.
Just don’t lock anyone’s knees, and use the appropriate dating spaces? Because strangers don’t want to talk to you on the ride, it is one of the most anti-social places on Earth.
use the appropriate dating spaces
So, as someone who is terified to approach someone literally anywhere, what are the “appropriate dating spaces” now a days?
Unironically the answer seems to be mainly “don’t.” I’m with you (I hate making people feel uncomfortable personally, but it shakes out the same) and have been trying to make sense of it, so far I’ve got:
Bars: OK
Dating apps: OK
Work: Right out don’t even think about it. This includes any combination of worker/customer, worker/worker, and even customer/customer. Women supposedly don’t like to be asked out in those situations.
And then you’ll hear men say “go to the gym” and women say “I don’t like being asked out at the gym” so that seems off limits unless you’re seeking men.
Common advice is to “find a hobby” but women hate being asked out while they’re just trying to do their hobbies as well according to them. Ok so then “you don’t ask them out there, you become friends and hope they’ll set you up with a single friend.” It also necessitates a hobby that isn’t solitary, which just isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.
So basically the best I’ve got so far seems to be “drink more, discard online privacy, or pray.”
But then also “just ask, be polite, and take no for an answer, if they get offended at that, that’s their problem” has been thrown around, and figuratively praying to a god I don’t believe in hasn’t been working so far, so I’m considering trying that out.
Actually, ironically, while I made the joke that “make friends and then hope they set you up with someone” = “pray,” another piece of advice is “meet them in church,” which supposedly works real well, but I don’t think lying about my religion is a good foundation to a happy relationship, personally. If you however have no such compunction or are religious, that may work.
Idk about other people but I hit on and am hit on by women at bars
I wonder if Lemmy has a dating community.
Forget dating apps. Idk, friend of friends might recommend you?
I am just as afraid and single, so yeah.
Hard disagree. What are “appropriate dating spaces”?
Pretty sure lots of the people would love to have something serendipitous happen outside of the boring designations society expects.
This isn’t even outside of what society expects. Striking up conversations with people is normal and human!
There are bad ways to do it, of course. In this case, I’d be rattled by the knee tap. But a little conversation is fine, and if they aren’t responding enthusiastically you can just drop it.
What am I supposed to do? Be that creep that just hits on women? 😭
I can’t imagine that it’s not a game friend being a date, or friend of a friend who recommended me.
Or one of those dating servers/forums.
Everything else feels creepy.
Dude OP was describing was striking up a conversation with another person. Sometimes that becomes a date, sometimes it doesn’t. It’s a nice way to go about every day. You don’t need an ulterior motive. If you can imagine having the conversation with a man in the same scenario, then it’s fine IMO.
Ironically, I cannot. I would not chat up a random man without a good reason.
What am I supposed to do? Be that creep that just hits on women? 😭
I can’t imagine that it’s not a game friend being a date, or friend of a friend who recommended me.
Or one of those dating servers/forums.
Everything else feels creepy.
You can talk to me on the bus if I’m not obviously doing something else.
Is this a PSA about how I should’ve been harassing other bus passengers this entire time? I don’t understand.
depends. most places? sure, try to strike up a conversation (just don’t expect/demand one)
New York City? abso fucking lutely not. talking to a stranger on MTA for anything besides asking directions nets you the social equivalent of the death penalty
This sounds perfect. Then I don’t have to be the one talking about the thing I’m thinking about for half an hour straight.
Classic confusion between Manic Pixie Dream Girl and Manic Pixie Nightmare Girl.
I prefer mxpx
That would have been the moment she became my dream girl.
Oh no! Not the confusion and boredom of someone having thoughts and interests different from mine.
Well don’t leave me hanging about mexico! What’s over there?!
Score, free history lecture!
Lesson learned. Look at your phone even if you aren’t looking at your phone.
The manic pixie dream girl who knows about ecology and climate science.
‘There are actual several contenders for the title “equation of despair”’
