Actual shit. I was rimming my boyfriend and he had thought he cleaned enough, he was wrong. I immediately threw up washed my mouth out and brushed my teeth. Disgusting, in case I needed to say it.
As a kid I took a swig off my Mom’s Coca Cola. She had been using the can as an ash tray. Puked for five mins and can recall that taste in a second as an adult.
Malort
Tastes like turpentine and grapefruit juice. The former I’ve actually tried accidentally… dipped my paint brush in my cup of water and took a swig of the other cup. Somehow, the malort was worse. Learned recently that they make a barrel aged version that they claim is
dare we say, sippable
We do not.
Somehow a friend of mine was convinced to try it, and now insists on taking shots of it every night out.
At least the taglines are accurate:
Malort: turning taste-buds into taste-foes for generations!
Malort: tonight’s the night you fight your dad!
Malort: these pants aren’t going to shit themselves!
Malort: the Gary, Indiana of liquor!
The grapefruit reference is accurate. I’d describe it as floor varnish thinner mixed with hyper-concentrated grapefruit rind. The interesting thing is the way it doesn’t actually smell that bad, but then it starts terrible and gets worse after a few seconds. I’m convinced there’s some interesting chemistry going on in there where it degrades into other chemicals as it oxidizes in your mouth.
The only remotely comparable flavor I’ve ever had is…
…Unicum, which tastes like a cedar chest smells, and I was more than a little afraid would make me go blind.
0/10 for both, would absolutely recommend if you want someone to establish a baseline for “absolute worst-tasting thing ever deliberately consumed that is technically meant to be consumed.”
Good God unicum is horrible.
Also Stroh80 is a good contender for worst drink. It tastes like kinder garten glue smells, and it lingers for the rest of the evening. I only took a sip while a friend of mine took a whole shot, and he said the whole evening every time he burped the taste came back
Dumpster juice. That’s the best way I can describe it.
At uni, the go-to liquor at our events was made from malört and we would have shots of it served up. The taste is awful and it sticks in your mouth, I hated every single one but I have never passed it up either.
Did you go to uni in hell or chicago?
Of the two, hell is probably the more accurate description (not in the US though).
I’m from Saint Louis, what’s the difference?
Good stadium nachos
I am one of like less than 2% of the population that actually likes it.
To me, it just tastes like a gin that’s more…dirty? I dunno how else to describe it, but just more “dirty” pine. I actually enjoy it. 🤷♂️
I’m utterly convinced everyone just says malort is gross for the bit. It’s not that bad. There are other bizarre tasting liquors that don’t get the same rep. I’ve had it and, while not great, didn’t really live up to the vomit inducing reputation.
Name me a worse liquor, I’ll buy it next week if I can find it local, and I’ll report back.
Tasted like my grandfather’s shoes
I’ve had surströmming exactly once and intend to keep it that way.
This thread’s got me curious about what my dick would taste like.
this is how it starts
beware of the pipeline
Incoming back pain
My understanding is that it’s more like sucking a dick than like getting your dick sucked.
If it’s clean it tastes like any other clean dick.
Fresh ginger.
A Zataran’s Cajun chicken Alfredo freezer meal…that had been in the un-freezable, non-refrigerated cabinet two weeks.
My wife…gods bless her, was trying to feed me dinner…and found that in the cabinet… after having put it there during our last grocery stock up, not realizing it required freezing. In her defense, it was a grocery order and the item was not something we ordered, so she didn’t know the particulars of it, and it wasn’t cold upon arrival.
After microwaving, she brings me the plate and a fork and I notice the smell is…unique, but me being hungry and not overly picky though “meh…Cajun seasoning…I guess” so i stir the sauce into the noodles and then lick the fork, as one does, preparing to consume.
The weirdest part, is it was fucking sour. Not sour like spoiled, sour like a million warheads sour. I stopped… looked at the stuff, looked at my wife and shuddered. “This is weird…why is it sour?” I said…still not dawning on me that my wife would attempt to poison me so obviously. She disappears and I sit there, with the offending offering on the table in front of me. “Am I brave enough to eat this? I don’t like wasting food…” goes through my head at about the same time as my wife, pale faced and trembling, rushes in and grabs it hollering “don’t eat that! It was supposed to be frozen!”
Ugh. Once when I was a kid I got the idea in my head to stick my face in between the couch cushoins and inhale hard. I still can kinda see the cursed salad I was spitting out for a while.
Stinky tofu. It’s hard to describe the flavor. It’s like dead anchovies in fish sauce but with the texture of a slice of omelette. It’s like eating rotten fish snot. I involuntarily spit it out immediately after putting it in my mouth, almost like it fell out of my mouth. My hosts laughed and said I didn’t have to eat it, but I tried again and was able to keep it in my mouth but was not physically able to swallow it, like my ability to swallow was rejecting it. I spit it into a paper napkin and everyone laughed. I just couldn’t force myself to consume it.
That’s interesting. I friggin’ loved it.
To each their own. I thought it was going to be like surströmming, which I liked. I’ve also eaten durian with no issue. Stinky tofu was not my thing.
The name stinky tofu doesn’t help either eh?
And, I’m not sure if I could stomach surströmming, but I’d love to try one day!
The trick is to have someone prepare it who knows what they’re doing. Guy who made it for us opened it outside in a bowl of water to catch all the gas coming out. He rinsed it and then put it on potatoes with sour cream and chives. It was good, but we still ate it outside.
I always cringed watching videos of people open a can in a hot car in Texas during the summer to “see how bad it smells”
If you hated it, you might have been a super taster in my experience has super taster it felt like someone threw up directly into my mouth
I didn’t put it there but when I was in college sharing an apartment with my brother and his wife they got a dog and when they got it home the instant it got through the door it beelined for my lap and slipped it’s tongue ALL the way along the roof of my mouth. Decades ago and I can still feel it.
I got some of that pre period goop in me once. I would say that turnabout was fair play for a dude but I don’t like blowies so I just got gooped for nuthin
Yeah I fuckin swallowed it, I’m not bitch made
I’m not reading any more of these.
I want to stop but I can’t
Just letting you know I could have described the texture but I didn’t
On a scale of dorito to jolly rancher how would you rate it?
I don’t downvote people very often…
Egg white 🤔
Raw or cooked?
Raw, definitely
God bless
Based swallower.
you didn’t have to comment this
I don’t think blowjobs are supposed to be for the giver, if that helps
I definitely hooked up with people who loved giving head. I was happy to oblige.
Also, I was kind of out of it for a while but nowadays I love eating someone out so you know, it can definitely go both ways.
Had me fooled, people have seemed pretty disappointed if I decline one
I’ve eaten ass
Any special prep?
Ideally it’s clean. When im in the moment though I’m not asking about it
Nope. Just toss the salad
Sounds dangerous.
I prefer grape jelly.
Of things that were intended to be eaten, my friend in Amsterdam had some super salty black licorice. Don’t want to yuck his yum, but that shit wasn’t fit for human consumption.
I sip Malört and enjoy its nuanced flavor notes. Durian tastes like paradise. Natto, however, broke me.
Well, there was natō, which is just slimy fermented soybeans. Had a taste like rotten sick and a texture like milky mucus covering half-mushed beans.
Not a fan of sea urchin either.
Also eaten a few expired food items that made me very wary of repeats, and usually put me off the food in question for at least a year. Rotten fruit cup that tasted like acetone, slimy off ham, chunky lemon milk.
Last, I once tried to cook a ham hock in beans. Recipe came out tasting like what I imagine stewed human flesh would taste like. Just wrong. Couldnt say exactly why, but nothing about the smell or taste told me it was edible. It was the most visceral “you’re-eating-a-dead-thing” feeling i’ve ever gotten.
IIRC even Japanese people don’t like natto, for the most part. It’s just reputed to be super healthy over there.
Wrong. Many Japanese people love it. Not all, of course.
Probably in a similar category as lutefisk in Norway. I like it, but I realize it’s an acquired taste.
Natto isn’t that bad there’s so many worse dishes
with onion and soy sauce and rice and kimchi
